Third times the charm
by Izzy713
Summary: Nick Amaro is already the father of two children he has with two different woman and now he is about to do it all over again, Nick and Amanda are both aware of the world they live in, they see it everyday working in SVU and this is why Amanda is hesitant but Nick is confident in their relationship and her ability to be a mother, besides third time is the charm right?
1. Chapter 1

**Nick's POV**

I feel around the bed and expect to feel the warmth of another body but instead I am greeted by the cold and empty space that Amanda once occupied. I lift my head from the pillow and look around the room but can't seem to find her anywhere, I look across the room to see the light coming out from the bottom of the closed bathroom door. I wait until I hear the toilet flush and then the door opens and she walks out wearing a robe and her hair is tied up in a clip, I sit up and she sits down on the edge of the bed, she leans over and kisses me on the cheek "Good morning" she speaks with her Georgia accent and no matter how many times I have heard it it's still always so sexy

"No kiss on the lips?"

"Sorry babe but I threw up this morning, I think I caught Zara's stomach bug" in the last week my daughter has been so sick with some bug she caught before her mom dropped her off for a couple weeks this summer, the second day she got here and she was throwing up constantly and ran a high fever, it was enough to almost make Maria fly back to New York to come and pick her up but I wouldn't allow it, much to my surprise Amanda stepped up and spent all her spare time taking care of Zara, it was such an amazing thing to see my girlfriend taking care of my daughter as if she was her own. It was just two days ago when she finally started being able to keep food down again and it would be no surprise that Amanda too would get sick considering she has practically been by her side this whole week.

"Do you think you should go into work today then? I'm sure Sargent will be okay if you missed one day"

"I'll be fine, besides there isn't any day's off for the victims" she stands up and makes her way back into the bathroom and I follow behind, I start to get dressed in my signature suit as Amanda brushes her teeth, when she is done she gets dressed too and finishes just as I begin to put my tie on, she comes over and stands in front of me and her fingertips graze my hands as she starts to tie my tie for me "Here let me" I watch as her fingers work and when she is done I lean down and steal a kiss.

"I saw you brush your teeth so I think it's okay to kiss you now" she laughs and I kiss her again. We both walk into the kitchen and find Gil sitting at the kitchen counter eating a bowl of cereal, it isn't a lot when I get to see either of my children but somehow I managed to get lucky and get to have them both at the same time, Gil adjusted very well and took a liking to Zara and Amanda very quickly and was happy to be spending a few weeks of his summer with them. Zara has always adored Amanda and was thrilled when we started dating, and when she found out she had a brother she couldn't have been happier about it, she had always wanted a sibling and she had finally gotten one. They get along great and both a very comfortable around each other, the situation's with both of their mothers have never been ideal but it made things even easier for everyone when both of my children took a liking to each other.

"Good morning sweetie" she smiles at Gil

"Morning Amanda" he continues to eat his breakfast and Amanda goes through the fridge trying to find something to eat

"Good morning Gil"

"Good morning dad" it has been over two years since I had told Gil the truth about me, how I wasn't just a friend of his mothers but actually his long lost father, it came to a shock to him at first but we quickly formed a tight bond that I never had with my father. It is still crazy to me that I missed so much time in my own son's life and while I have been so used to hearing Zara calling me dad it is still a different feeling whenever I hear Gil calling me that, it's special, and I know that I could have easily missed out on this.

"Is your sister up yet?"

"I think so, I think she is getting ready" right after he says that Zara runs in at full speed and wraps her arms around Amanda's legs

"Amanda!" she yells of excitement that Amanda is up and it makes the two of us laugh, Amanda may have made it clear that at least right now she has no interest in ever having kids and becoming a mom she would be damn good at it, for right now being a step mom to them will have to be enough and I already know she will do such a good job.

"Good morning sweetie" she bends down to hug Zara and then she runs over to me, I pick her up and she gives me a wide smile.

"What am I chopped liver?" Amanda snorts back a laugh as she pulls out some fruit from the fridge and sets it down on the counter, she starts to pick through the bowl of grapes

"Good morning daddy" I kiss the top of her head and laugh as I put her down, she runs over to a seat next to Gil and starts to grab some grapes as she sits down. Amanda takes Gil's empty bowl and puts it in the sink for him

"Go get your stuff together for abuela's "

"Okay" he goes off and Zara hops down off her chair

"Go get your stuff together too Zara" she runs off and I go over and wrap my arms around Amanda's middle, I breath in the scent of her hair and gently leave a trail of small kisses on her neck.

"Nick" she puts her hands on top of mine and turns around and kisses me, we kiss for a few moments and then I hear giggling so I pull away and find Zara standing there with her backpack in her hand giggling at what me and Amanda were just doing. Gil soon follows and sees me and Amanda standing there still embraced and finding Zara laughing uncontrollably.

"What?" Gil stands there looking at Zara confused about her laughter. Amanda pulls away and goes over and picks Zara up

"You ready to go to your grandma's house sweetie" I watch them walk out the door and I put my hand on Gil's shoulder and we follow

"What was so funny dad?"

"It's nothing" I laugh and grab the keys to the car off the table and lock the door behind us, we both walk out to the car and when we get there Zara is already buckled in the back and Amanda is sitting the passengers seat, Gil gets into the back and and I get into the drivers seat and start the car. It is a quick ride to my mothers house and I park in her driveway, all of us get out of the car and Zara grabs Amanda's hand as they walk up to the front porch, I knock on the door and my mother opens up the door and Zara runs into her arms and gives her a tight hug.

"Abuela!" my mother hugs her tightly and then pulls Gil into a hug, my mother always is watching them whenever we have to go to work but they are still so excited every time the kids visit her. Zara hugs Amanda and then me and she smiles down at her

"Goodbye baby" Gil gives both of us hugs and then goes inside following Zara, my mom pulls Amanda into a hug and smiles at both of us

"It is so good to see you again Amanda" my mom was skeptical at first when I told her there was another woman in my life, seeing as how things had gone with Maria what a disaster that was and then soon finding out that I had another child with a different woman from my past made her worry about what I was doing in my romantic life, I had two children with two different women and yet I was perusing another, it made her be very guarded when I first introduced them but soon she loved her and became very close. We say goodbye to my mom and make our way back to the car and are soon on our way to the precinct.

"You are really good with them you know" Amanda has always been very guarded and it took a while to let me in, it took everything I had to convince her to move in with me and even after we had decided not to jump the gun and get engaged, we were taking things slow and were happy doing so, things were good right now and while I would love to officially make her my second and last wife and the step mother of my children it just isn't what's best for her right now. I understand the pain that she went through, her rape was hard on her and it make her hard to trust men but from the moment I met her I knew I would break her shell and be the first person to get through to her, she may have been in deep at some points with her gambling problems but I was there for her and helped her get through that too. She was stubborn and I was hot tempered, I had met my match when we got together and while things could be difficult at times I wouldn't want it any other way, I would rather have it be hard with her than easy with someone else.

"They are good kids"

"They love you"

"You know I love them" falling in love with Amanda Rollins was a roller coaster of emotions but we both made it work, we fell in love hard and being with her was the best I had felt in a long time. At first it was just sex but then it developed into something more for the both of us, we had both tried to avoid falling in love with each other but it was too late, we were both in deep and while Amanda had a harder time admitting her true feeling for me it came out and after that there was no going back for either of us. We pull into the precinct and both get out of the car, I go over and give her a quick kiss before we go inside and then we go through the door, we get on the elevator and head up to our floor. We get out of the elevator and make our way to our desks, Fin takes one look at us walking in together

"Looks like the Amaro's finally made it in"

"Ha ha ha Fin, so funny"

"What took you guys so long this morning"

"We had to drop the kids off at Nick's mom house" Fin was the first person to find out about our relationship, he was Amanda's partner and they had been especially close since she first came to SVU and during a drunken night she let it slip that she was sleeping with someone from work, it wasn't long after that did he discover it was me and since he hasn't been able to shut up about it, he means well but we get his constant jokes what seem like everyday. Soon after Fin found out me and Amanda decided to disclose our relationship to Liv and after that everyone in the prescient found out that we were dating.

Olivia comes out from her office indicating the start of our day. Liv sends me to go with her and talk to a rape victim and we spend our day talking with her and hearing her side of the story while Fin and Amanda go to talk with the man she accused of being her rapist, at the end of our first day of the investigation the most we have gotten is this is a classic case of she said he said, she claims it was rape and the evidence proves that but the guy claims it was rough sex and that was exactly how she wanted it. I go back to my desk and lay my head down feeling stuck, we have had many many cases like this before but they always left me feeling stuck, this job was hard in the first place but working with special victims was only made for the people that could handle it. I have had my share of cases that nearly broke me, mostly the ones that dealt with children and what sick people had done to those children, it pained me because those children could have been the same age as Zara or Gil and they live in the same world as these people and it makes me sick to think about, I love my children and couldn't imagine my life without them but someday's I am understanding of why Amanda is hesitant to bring children into this world, no matter who it's with and how much she loves them.

Thinking about her I lift my head up and look around for her but can't see her sitting at her desk, I look around for her or Fin but can't find them and assume they are still out doing their part for the investigation. Liv and I spend the rest of our day working the case and towards the end of the day I still haven't managed to see Amanda since this morning. Fin walks past me and I stop him "Where's Amanda?"

"She went home a little while ago"

"Why? Is she okay?"

"She threw up after we got done interviewing the suspect so I dropped her off at your apartment" I get up and go over to Liv's office, I knock on the door and Liv calls me in

"Nick, is everything okay?"

"Amanda went home early, Fin said she was sick and I was wondering if I could go home a little early today to make sure she is okay. Zara had a bug and I think Amanda might have caught it"

"Yeah sure, it looks like this will be an easy case, we have enough evidence to convict this guys. Nice work today Amaro"

"Thanks" I walk out and wave to Fin goodbye, I get into my car and dial my moms phone number, I listen to it ring until she picks up

"Hola Nick"

"Hola mamá, is Gil and Zara still there?"

"No, Amanda already came and picked them up, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, she wasn't feeling well so she left work early, I just didn't know if I still hand to swing by and pick them up"

"She told me about not feeling well when she came and picked the kids up"

"Okay, as long as I know where they are, I am heading home to see Amanda now"

"Okay te amo"

"Te amo mamá" I hang up the phone and start the car, I pull into our drive way and pull the keys to the apartment out of my pocket and as soon as I unlock the door I am nearly tacked by Zara

"Daddy" I pick her up and give her a tight hug then let her down and she runs back over to her doll house where she was playing with her Barbie dolls, Gil is sitting on the couch playing video games and I look around for Amanda

"Where is Amanda?" Gil looks up from his game to look over at me

"She went to go lay down in your room"

"Me and Gil has tried to be quite since she said she wasn't feeling very good"

"That's very sweet of you guys, I'm sure she appreciates that"

"I think she got sick with what I had"

"I think so too, I'm going to go check on her and then I will start getting dinner ready for you guys" I walk over to our bedroom and find the door to be close, I open it and walk into the room and find the bed still untouched and made, the same way we left it this morning before we went to work. "Amanda" I notice the bathroom door is closed but I don't hear any sound, I know she hates it when I see her throw up but I would hold her hair back every single time. I hear the toilet flush and the sound of the faucet turning on, she yells over the sound of running water

"I'm in here" I sit down on the bed and wait for her to come out of the bathroom, she opens up the door and look pretty pale

"I was worried when I didn't see you all day, me and Liv were busy with our latest case and I didn't notice until later when I hadn't seen you" she just sands there and doesn't say anything "Is everything okay baby?" I look down and notice what she is holding in her hand, the last time I saw that was when I was married to Maria, that little thing changed everything. "Oh my god, is that what I think it is?"

"I'm pregnant"

 **Authors note-Hello guys, I have been a fan of SVU for years and have seen every episode like five times each lol, I have shipped Nick and Amanda for a really long time and have been thinking about this idea for the fanfiction for a while but it wasn't until I was watching an SVU marathon and they played the episode where we got our first taste of their ship and I got inspired to write. I hope you like this chapter and like the start to this fanfiction, if you do please leave a review and I hope to update soon and until next time-Izzy**


	2. Chapter 2

**Amanda's POV**

"I'm pregnant" he looks down at the pregnancy test in my hands and I walk over to the bed and sit down next to him

"Are you sure?" I look down at the little pink plus sign and feel my heart drop all over again, I think of the other two that sit on the bathroom sink right now that have the same plus signs

"Pretty sure. This is the third test" I hand him the test and watch as he looks down and covers his face with his hands, this is exactly the reaction I had expected from him.

"How could this have happened? We were always so careful, I mean we always use a condom"

"It must have broke or something, I mean they aren't always effective" he doesn't even look up when he speaks to me, he must be upset, he has to be upset, I mean he hasn't said anything. "Are you upset?" he looks up at me and I see nothing but compassion in his eyes

"I'm not mad, please don't think I'm mad" he takes my hands into his and looks into my eyes as he talks "I"m just surprised that's all, I mean we already have Gil and Zara but we can make it work" he smiles at me and while that should be reassuring I don't feel any better about this. He must take my silence to mean something because he suddenly looks worried "Are you okay?" I think about what he has asked me and I honestly don't know the answer to his question. How do I feel about this? I love Nick and love his children like they are my own but I have never thought about having children, for a while it was about finding a man that I could actually trust, after going through the rape from someone who I had worked with closely that I was meant to trust broke that how could I have trusted any other man again? It wasn't until I met Nick that I knew there was hope out there for a good guy, while he has his flaws I have never loved anyone more.

Part of the reason I fell so hard was the way he was around his children and here he was sitting in front of me ready to do everything he can for me and his child, finding the right guy to settle down with and start of family never became a problem anymore the moment me and Nick first got together. The other reason I never thought about kids, well the main reason I never wanted to have kids was because of the things I see on a daily basis at my job. Working in the special victims unit was such a rewording job, getting justice for the victims was a whole new feeling on its own, one that brought such a fulfillment to my life and I wouldn't want it any other way but seeing these victims day after day, especially the children is something that really starts to get to you. I couldn't remember all the cases of molestation and rape on innocent children who never deserved the abuse they go through, never deserve to be violated in such a way and I never thought I could bring a child into such a fucked up world where this happens everyday. I will do everything I can to protect this child and Nick's children but that idea in the back of my mind that there is always a chance that one of these terrible things could happen to them will always be there, always a possibility.

"I'm not sure" I stand up and pick the pregnancy test up from the bed and take it over to the bathroom sink and set it next to the rest of them, I walk back out into the bedroom and find Nick standing there not knowing to do next, he must think my reaction to finding out I am going to be a mother is unusual and I'm sure it is. All I can think about is how different this must have been from the last time Nick was in this position, Maria must have been trilled to find out that she was carrying his child, I remember back when Nick accused me of being jealous of her and it burned me that he actually thought I was, I hated him to compare me to her but in this case he might be right. I'm not jealous of her but am jealous of the way he made him feel in a moment like this, and knowing that I couldn't live up to it, couldn't be what he deserved in this moment.

"Well this explains you throwing up this morning, and this afternoon"

"Yeah"

"How did you think that you could have been pregnant?"

"I went to go get something to try and settle my stomach and I read the back and it advised against taking if you were pregnant or might be. I thought about it and realized that I was late so instead I bought three pregnancy tests" I remember after Fin dropped me off at the house and the moment I walked in I rushed to the toilet, after throwing my guts up I went out to get something to help me try and get back to work but from the moment I counted how long it had been since my last period I knew I wasn't going to be getting back to work anytime soon. I remember how anxious I felt standing there and picking from all the different kinds of test that they had, I ended getting three different ones just to be sure and nearly didn't even buy them. As soon as I got home I set them out on the bed and just kind of stared at them, I couldn't work up the courage to actually take them yet so I decided to pick up the kids as a way to avoid it. I sat out in the living room and played with Zara for a while but I started to feel sick again and knew I couldn't avoid it any longer. Not wanting to be interrupted I told the kids that I wasn't feeling well and that I needed to go and lie down, I remember how waiting those five minutes were the most anxious filled minutes of my life, and knowing that after the results came back my life would either be the same or change forever.

"How do you feel about this?" I could tell that my behavior made him nervous, by now Nick knows how I am different and very distant when it comes to things like this, that's why it took so long for us to move in together and that's why we still haven't gotten engaged. We are happy with the way our life was going, but now everything is going to be different, I don't mean it as a bad different but now with this baby coming there is such an expectation to change everything, to get married and also the fact that in nine months I will be in charge or another human being.

"I'm not really sure but I think I should get dinner started, I'm sure the kids are hungry" I turn away from him but see the look on his face, he looks confused as I open the bedroom door and walk into the kitchen. I look over into the living room and find Zara and Gil both watching TV, Nick follows closely behind me and tries to keep his voice down when he talks

"You don't think we need to talk about this?" he looks over to the kids to make sure they can't hear us, he knows that he could very well be starting a fight and he doesn't want them to be around if it happens, after seeing what he did growing up I don't blame him from trying to protect his children.

"What is there to be talked about?" I must have raised my voice because I can see Zara and Gil turning to face us, they get up from the couch and walk over with Frannie following behind, I turn and make a quick look in the fridge but am not really in the mood to cook anything right now "Hey guys, how about you go and take Frannie out and I will order us some pizza for dinner" Zara smiles and runs off to go and get the dog leash and Gil follows her. We both wait until we can hear the sound of the door closing before any of us talks again.

"You don't think we should start planning or anything?"

"Why would we start to plan so early, I mean I just found out like ten minutes ago"

"Amanda I have done this before and everything is going to happen so quickly that it's probably best to start and make plans now" he seems a little angry, but not at me, he just seems angry about the way I am taking this so nonchalantly as if this isn't as big of a deal as it really is. I don't want to answer him so instead I just dial the phone number to the pizza place and order us some dinner, Nick waits as I am on the phone and I can tell he is trying to calm himself down, I know he doesn't want to be upset at me and I know I shouldn't get upset with him either, I know that I am probably not reacting the same way that anyone who found out they were pregnant would but I just wish he could have some more patients with me sometimes. I hang up the phone after giving the guy our address and think about how I am going to respond to him.

"I know you have but I still have to wrap my head around this okay?" he must notice that I sound upset

"Amanda this is a baby we are talking about, I just want you to be prepared to be a mom that's all"

"What baby?" we both turn our heads in the direction of the door and find Zara and Gil standing there still holding Frannie's leash, we must not have heard the sound of them coming in over our probably loud discussion. Nick turns to me and looks for any direction to take this conversation, I nod my head as an indication that he can tell them the news. I knew I had to tell them that they were going to get a new sibling sometime but I didn't imagine it would be this soon, it makes everything feel so much more real.

"Amanda's pregnant" I lean against the counter and try not to look at Nick but I can't miss the smile that spreads across Zara's face, she runs towards Nick and he picks her up

"Really" I try and give her my best smile as I answer her question

"Yeah"

"Is it going to be a boy or a girl?"

"We don't know yet sweetie" I look over at Gil who is still standing by the door, he is petting the dog and I can't really sense how he is feeling about all of this, he hasn't said anything and that worries me a little bit. I know how much he likes me but maybe he doesn't like the idea about another baby. Nick must notice too because he talks for me

"What about you Gil, how do you feel about this?"

"I'm excited" he smiles and I feel a little relived

"Are you sure? Your really okay with this?"

"Yeah, of course I am" he doesn't seem as enthusiastic as Zara is but that's just his personality, he has always been quiet and I'm just glad that he is taking this as well as I could expect a kid who found out he had a sibling he had never known about and just found out he is going to get another one. I feel a huge relief about everything and it starts to really set in, I am going to be a mom. We wait for the pizza and once it gets here we all sit down to eat, Nick and I listen to stories from the day that they had at their grandmothers house and things feel easier, I really could get used to falling into this role that thanks to much practice I think I might actually mange not to mess it up. After dinner we all sit down to watch a movie, during Zara falls asleep and when it's done Nick picks her up and carries her into her room, Gil tells me that he is getting pretty tired so after saying goodnight he goes off and gets ready for bed too. I go into the bathroom and turn the water on for a shower, I step in after shedding my cloths and as every drop of water slides down my body I can feel the stress from the day leaving my body as well.

When I get out and change into my pajamas I walk out of the bathroom to find Nick already laying in bed, he smiles at me "Hey"

"Hey" I lay down next to him and try and find a way to get comfortable, I decide on laying on my back. Nick looks over at me and looks like he is going to say something but closes his mouth, I turn my head to face him "What? You looked like you were going to say something"

"It's just that when Maria was pregnant she never slept on her back because she said it wasn't good for the baby" I turn to face the opposite side of him, I try not to get angry but it's no secret that it bothers me when he brings her up, especially now. I feel his arms wrap around me and pull me closer to him, he plants small kisses on my hair and rests his hands on my stomach, I don't know if it's purposeful or just accidental but it does feel comforting. "I'm sorry" he whispers close to my ear and it sends chills down my spine

"I'm sorry I have been so moody today"

"It's okay, you have an excuse now" he laughs and I can feel the way his whole body moves. I turn around to face him and he kisses me gently

"I know you have done this before but it's just a lot right now"

"I know and I'm sorry if you feel like I have put some pressure on you, that wasn't my intention"

"I know it wasn't, I just haven't been through this so I guess I just haven't gotten excited the same way you are"

"I am pretty excited, I mean your having our baby"

"I'm going to warn you now that with the genes in my family I might not be the best person to have a child with"

"Amanda don't say that"

"It's true though, haven't you met my sister? God help us if it's a girl" I turn again so that I am comfortable in his arms again "Let's not tell anyone at work just yet okay?"

"Okay" I wait until Nick is asleep and has already let go of me to sneak out of the room, I walk into the room that Zara and Gil now share and watch them as they are sleeping. I go over and kiss the top of Zara's head and then make my way over to where Gil is sleeping and kiss his head too. I walk out and take one last glance at them and think about how much I love them and soon there will be one more child that I will love.


	3. Chapter 3

**Nick's POV**

I hear the sounds of Amanda throwing up as I open my eyes, I climb out of bed and make my way over to the bathroom door, I wiggle the knob and find that the door is locked. I knock on the door waiting for a response "Amanda let me in"

"No, I'm so sick right now" she speaks through the door and I can soon here the sound of her throwing up again

"Just let me in, I have seen you throw up before" I wait and can here her walking to the door, she opens it up and then walks back over to the toilet where she leans in front of it and throws up again. I walk over and pull her hair back and rub small circles on her back

"I'm a mess, you don't want to see me like this"

"In sickness and in health remember?" she lifts up her head again and looks over at me

"That's in marriage"

"We live together and were having a baby together, I think that could apply to us" I chuckle and lean down to kiss her forehead.

"How can you still want to kiss me like this?"

"You forget that I have been through this before" I hope this hasn't struck a nerve with her, I know that Maria is a sore subject for her, she loves Zara as if she was her own daughter but sometimes I feel like it's just a constant reminder about my past with Maria and that I will always have a connection to her because of our daughter. Finding out about Gil was easier for her to take in because it was from a past relationship and I didn't even know about having a son until it was brought up in a case, it was an old flame that had died out when she came back into my life but it wasn't the same as building a marriage with someone, having a child together because we loved each other we wanted to bring new life into the world, a life we created together. While that was a long time ago and it had been so long since I had tried to save my ex-marriage and now I have my life with Amanda, and the new life we are about to bring into the world.

"What are we going to do with three kids?" I hadn't thought about adding the new baby to the equation that is now our crazy life, having the two together has had its struggles but adding a brand new baby might make things harder, I don't always have Zara and Gil but when I do it would be three kids to take care of and one would be an infant. I know that we will have some time to get used to being new parents, it will be easier for me since I won't be a first time parent but it make take some time for Amanda to adjust, I just hope that everything won't be too overwhelming for her.

"We'll figure it out" she stands up and pushes her hair back into a pony tail, she flushes the toilet and then runs the water as she puts toothpaste on her toothbrush and starts to brush her teeth. I sand up and start the shower, Amanda spits and finishes brushing her teeth and sets down the toothbrush on the sink

"I'll go get them up" she walks out of the bathroom closing the door behind her and I undress and step into the shower, I quickly wash my hair and my body and then step out of the shower, I dry off my hair and wrap a towel around my waist and step out into the bedroom and pick out a new suit to wear, I dress and then walk out into the room and find Zara sitting on the counter as Amanda puts her hair up into a pony tail, when she's done Zara hops down and Amanda hands Gil a bowl of cereal. Zara runs up to me and and smiles up showing proudly what Amanda did to her hair

"Amanda put my hair up for me"

"It looks so pretty"

"Thank you Amanda" she smiles down at Zara and it's something that is so simple yet it still warms my heart to see my daughter embracing Amanda, it wasn't easy for Zara when me and her mom got a divorce, she was always asking when I was going to come back and live with her all the time like things used to be but from the moment I introduced Amanda to her as more than just my coworker but as my girlfriend she has handled it so well, and not too long after they both formed a bond that gets stronger everyday. We soon have fed both of the kids and got them into the car and dropped them off at my moms house, I sit in the car and watch as Amanda says goodbye to my mom and jogs down the steps back into the car

"Did you tell my mom?" Amanda buckles her seat belt and I start the car and back out of the driveway

"About the baby?"

"Yeah"

"No, I wasn't exactly ready yet"

"If Zara has anything to do with it then she will know in the next five minutes" I chuckle at remembering the countless times my daughter had let things slip before and knowing something as big as this won't be an exception.

"You think she will say something"

"Not on purpose but it won't be the first time she let something slip, I just don't want to be on the other side of my mothers anger"

"You think she will be mad?"

"Mad that she found out about her grandchild from someone that wasn't me? Most definitely"

"You don't think she will be mad at me do you?"

"Of course not, your carrying her grandchild now, you couldn't do anything wrong in her eyes ever again" that earns a laugh from her and she looks over at me

"She hates Maria now though"

"She doesn't hate her, she loves Zara too much for that but you are nothing like Maria" my mother wasn't happy with all the things that Maria had done, taking away Zara from me countless times but at the end of the day Zara wouldn't be here without Maria and my mother takes that into account after all the things she had done she could never truly hate her.

"I know that" she turns away and looks out the window, I hate it when she compares herself to Maria, it makes me upset whenever she does this to herself. It has been a couple of years since me and Amanda have been together but the idea of Maria might still be in the back of her mind, it has come to me time and time before but maybe she thinks that my experience with Maria has messed me up, and I know she thinks she is messed up herself. We pull into the the parking lot of the prescient and I turn off the car and we kinda sit there for a second not saying anything, she turns to me and puts her hand on my leg

"Remember we aren't telling anyone at work"

"Yes I do remember" she leans over and gives me a quick kiss on my lips and gets out of the car , I follow her and we make our way into the prescient together and back into the world that I work so hard everyday to keep my children away from. As soon as we walk in Fin is standing at his desk as if he is ready to leave

"Good to see you back at work today partner, feeling any better?"

"Yeah I am, thank you Fin"

"Did Amaro take good care of you?" he has known about our relationship since the very beginning basically and yet he is still looking out for her, the relationship they have is very close and one that can only be understood by being someones partner for years like they have, I have the same thing with Olivia. While Fin's big brother act can sometimes get on both of our nerves I am really glad to know that there is someone else looking out for her.

"He did Fin, you don't have to worry about that" I know Amanda isn't ready to tell people yet but I know that if she was going to cave and tell someone it would be Fin.

"Ready to go?"

"Go we just got here?"

"Sargent wants us to go and check up with the vic and make sure her story hasn't changed overnight, Barba is going to have a hard enough time with a she said he said case that Liv just wants to make sure his job isn't harder if she is being inconsistent"

"Okay, lets go then" she turns to me and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek, I try and ignore the sarcastic eye role that Fin gives us, Amanda goes over to Fin and I watch as they leave. I spend the next few hours working with Liv on piecing together the night before and also waiting for Amanda to come back, I feel like she will be strong enough to not say anything but another part of me that knows her and Fin's relationship makes me think she might tell him about the baby. Either way I am fine with it, I would love to share our joy with all of our closes friends but I know how Amanda can be about her personal life and family, she has had many problems with her family and like me came from a pretty dysfunctional one, I'm sure she saw some of the same things I did growing up and it has left her guarded, it was here among friends when she really let us in, it was me that helped her open up more. Me and Liv are going over the vics story for what seems like the hundredth time when my phone starts to ring, I pull it out and look down at the contact to see its my mom calling

"Do you need to take that?"

"It's my mom, it could be something about the kids"

"Go ahead take it" she smiles at me and I walk out of her office and into an empty room, since becoming a parent herself she really understands the day to day occurrences that comes with having children. When I am alone I click the phone to answer the call and prepare myself for the worst, a million different scenarios about situations Gil and Zara could have gotten themselves into pop into my mind as I answer my phone

"Hi mom"

"Nicolas Amaro how could you not tell me?" she sounds angry and is using my full name, those two things together are never a good sign.

"Tell you what? Is everything okay with the kids?"

"Of course everything is okay with them, but how could you not tell me that Amanda is pregnant?" I was right, Zara probably said something, she lasted longer than I thought she would though.

"Mom I'm sorry, we just found out yesterday and we haven't told anyone else yet"

"How come I had to hear about this from Zara?"

"We weren't even going to tell them yet either, they overheard us talking though"

"Have you started planing yet? How far along is she?"

"I don't have time to talk right now, I am very busy at work okay? We can talk later" I say a quick goodbye and hang up the phone, she reacted exactly how I thought she would and is probably going to have told my whole family by the time we go to pick the kids up tonight. I walk back out into Liv's office and find her still going over her notes and the pictures of the vic that were taken at the hospital yesterday, it shows the bruises she received after from the looks of it a very violent rape.

"Everything okay with the kids?"

"Yeah they are fine, it was just my mom being my mom" soon after the phone call with my mother Amanda and Fin walk into the prescient and I walk over to her "Can I talk to you real quick?" she looks over and Fin

"It's okay, I will just go update Liv on where we are with the investigation" she follows me and we make our way back into the room where I just got done talking with my mom

"What is it?"

"My mom found out"

"Zara told her didn't she?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I know you didn't want to tell anyone yet but I thought I should warn you considering she wants to talk all about it when we pick the kids up tonight"

"That's okay, she was going to find out eventually" she is surprisingly calm about this, I expected her to be a little upset by this, overwhelmed even, and yet shes not. "Besides I told Fin" she looks down and I burst into laughter "What?"

"I knew it"

"You knew nothing"

"I knew you would cave, I know this is a surprise but admit it you are excited and want to tell all our friends"

"Of course I am" she playfully hits me "I'm having a baby with you, what isn't there to be excited about" she kisses me and when she pulls away I smile at her

"I love you"

"I love you too"

"Can we tell Olivia now?"

"Sure, since everyone else knows" I laugh again and follow her out of the room

"I'm just glad you aren't upset or anything that by the end of the day most of my family will probably know about this"

"You didn't say anything about that"

"You know how my mom is" we walk back into Liv's office and find her and Fin in conversation, they stop when we walk into the room

"Fin was just telling me the information you got today"

"Before we continue on the case me and Nick wanted to tell you something"

"Okay go ahead" Amanda takes my hand into hers a squeezes it

"I'm pregnant" Fin smiles as if he is hearing it for the first time and Olivia smiles and stands up to come and hug both of us

"Congratulations you guys, I'm so happy for you"

"Thank you"

"When's the wedding?" Fin says it in a joking tone but it makes me wonder if this means were going to get married now, Amanda didn't want to before because she liked the way things were but now that things are changing why stop there? Why not make it that more official?

"Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean that we need to get married, besides having a shotgun wedding screams that I'm knocked up"

"But that is what happened" Fin laughs at his own joke and Amanda rolls her eyes at him, she tries to act like she is offended but even she cracks a smile.

"While I am so happy for you guys we really need to get back to this case, criminals never rest" she walks out of the room and we all follow behind her, we are back to our job of helping the victims and doing as best as we can to keep New York a little safer for everyone. Telling everyone closest to us have made everything start to set in and feel a little more real.


	4. Chapter 4

**Amanda's POV**

I sit on the park bench as I watch Zara and Gil chase Frannie around as they play catch with her, it is a cool day for it being July but the hot sun still beats down on the back of my neck, I smile as I watch their joy from playing and I subconsciously put my hands on my stomach, I am not very far along and still haven't even managed to get myself to the doctors but the morning sickness and three positive pregnancy tests speak for themselves, I am most definitely pregnant. Ever since finding out things have been different but it's been a good different, I have felt especially closer the kids and that's why I volunteered to let Nick work and give his mom a day off by taking them out to go have lunch and get some fresh air, I took a personal day but it was well worth it and even gave us an opportunity to make myself a doctor appointment. I check my phone again for both the time and to see if Nick had called me at all, he was supposed to be meeting us here so we could go together but the appointment is soon and it seems to be cutting it close. "Amanda" Zara runs over to the bench and Gil stands with Frannie by his side still in the grass

"What is it sweetie?"

"Look what Frannie can do" she trows the tennis ball she has in her hand and Frannie jumps up and catches it in her mouth and Zara explodes in a fit of giggles and Gil and the dog run over to where we are. Frannie runs up to Zara and drops the ball at her feet, she pets her head and smiles "Good girl Frannie"

"Did you teach her that?"

"Me and Zara have been working on teaching her that all day" Gil smiles proudly as Nick comes running over to where we are.

"Sorry I'm late"

"Hi daddy" Zara smiles up at him "Look at what we taught Frannie to do" she trows the ball and Frannie goes chasing after it, catching it in her mouth just before it hits the ground, they both come running back and I watch how Nick is sharing the kids excitement.

"Wow that's really cool" I stand up and Nick brings me in for a kiss, I smile against his lips "You ready to go?"

"Yeah" I put Frannie on a leash and let Gil walk her to the car, Zara holds onto my hand and only lets go when we get to the car. We drive to Nick's moms house and the kids run in with the dog following close behind and we watch as they disappear inside, once they are inside Nick backs out and steps on the gas trying to make it to appointment without being late.

"Sorry again for being late"

"It's okay, I work there too, I know how you can easily get tied up" I laugh and lean my head back against the seat.

"We had another rape victim today, Benson and me are on the case" it had been around two weeks since I found out I was pregnant and yet everyday has been the same, another victim always comes forward, and it's our job to get justice for the victims and it's a job I take pride in, but sometimes we can tend to fall into a pattern of predictability, as awful as that sounds. I let myself think about all that I missed at work today and hate the feeling it gives me, just knowing that I will probably have take a couple of weeks off after the baby is born is already enough to make me feel restless, I love spending time with the kids but I just know I could be taking down criminals at the same moment, something that makes a huge difference.

"Do you have any leads so far? Even a suspect?"

"We think it might be connected to a string of rapes, the woman said she didn't recognize his face but he had the same MO that we have seen before"

"Hopefully catching the guy will help solve some cold cases too then"

"That's the plan" he looks away from the road for a split second to look over at me "How was your day?"

"I got to sleep in a little bit, then I took the kids to lunch and then the park, nothing exciting"

"That's good that you slept a little later, I know how restless you have been lately" he was right, I had fallen into a pattern of tossing and turning most of the night and after finally falling asleep only to be woken up in the early morning to puke my guts out, this baby might not be very big yet but I can already tell all kinds of trouble it will be, just like everyone else in my family. "And I'm sure you spending some time with them meant a lot to them" Today wasn't the first time I had spent some one on one time with either of the kids, I remember right after me and Nick became public with our relationship and telling his kids about it, he had invited Zara over and while he was finishing up on one of his cases I had hung out with Zara, just us girls. We just watched a movie but it was enough to start a real bond between us. After that she was beyond happy to invite me into their little family, Gil was also very opened to the idea of me dating his dad. All around it's been very easy to slip into the role of almost like a step mom to them.

"We all had fun today. I was happy to do it" I give him a smile and he takes one hand off the wheel to put it on my leg, he smiles back. He pulls into the parking lot of the doctors office and turns the engine off, we get out of the car and walk into the building. Nick goes to sit down in one of the chairs in the waiting room and I go over to the front desk to check in. "Hi, I'm Amanda Rollins and I'm here for an appointment"

"Okay, I just need you to fill out this form and I'll call you when the doctor is ready to see you" she gives me a warm smile and hands over a clipboard to me. I walk over to the empty seat next to Nick and sit down, I start to fill out the paperwork as Nick looks over my shoulder.

"Can I help you with something?" I laugh slightly as I continue to fill out the forms.

"No, I'm just watching you, that's all"

"Well that doesn't make it sound any less creepy" he laughs at my response.

"I know this must sound crazy to you but I'm actually excited about this"

"About me filling out forms?"

"No, about our baby" he puts his hand on my stomach and I put my hands over his, I can't ignore the feelings he still gives me in the pit of my stomach after years of being together. "I may have two other kids already but this is still so new to me, it's me getting to go through this with you"

"Nick stop it, your going to make me cry" another side effect of being pregnant, your emotions run wild. Lately I have seemed to be over emotional about everything, a characteristic that I have never seemed to possessed before this.

"Amanda Rollins" a nurse comes out and calls out my name, me and Nick both stand up simultaneously and follow her down the hall. She leads us into a room and tells me to sit down on the table, Nick sits down in a chair right next to me. "So what brings you in today?"

"I recently took a couple of pregnancy tests that came back positive, just wanted to make sure everything was going okay so far"

"Certainly, congratulations by the way"

"Thank you"

"Have you been having any nausea or dizziness?"

"Just mostly feeling very nauseous. Mostly in the morning, it usually seems to be over by lunch time"

"And when was the last time you engaged in sexual activity?" I can feel my face go red and I can see Nick trying to hide a laugh. He is doing his best to contain himself, for gods sake we work in sex crimes, we're usually the ones asking these deep and personal questions.

"Last week" I bite my lip to hide my own giggles, Nick's laugh can be so damn contagious.

"And your last period would have been?" I think in my head of the last time I got my period, a few months ago maybe? Had it really been that long since it's happened? How did I not notice it sooner?

"I want to say I missed it about twice now, so maybe two or three months" she writes this down on her clipboard and then smiles at me.

"I'll be right back with the doctor, we can get you a scan today" she smiles one last time and leaves us alone. As soon as shes gone Nick goes into a fit of laughter. I stand up and hit his arm to quiet him.

"You are so immature sometimes"

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. The look on your face was so priceless"

"You could have warned me that they were going to ask me that"

"I though you would have known, I mean sex is how you make a baby" he laughs and I do my best to give him my famous death glare.

"I know that, don't be stupid. You can't make fun of me, I'm the mother of your child now" he takes my hand and presses it up to his lips.

"I know"

"I'm really glad we didn't bring the kids along, they shouldn't need to know about their dad's sex life"

"Thank god we didn't" We talk for a little while, just anything to fill the time waiting. It seems like forever when the doctor and that same nurse finally walk into the room. I sit up from how I was previously waiting and shake the doctors hand, he shakes Nick's next.

"You two must be the Rollins'" I hide my laughter as I watch Nick explain our situation.

"Actually I'm Nick Amaro, her last name is Rollins. She's my girlfriend" the doctor looks to be well into his fifties, probably stuck in the ways that he learned growing up, where a man and a woman needed to be married before having a child. Wait until he hears about Nick's other two children from two other relationships.

"Well it's very nice to meet you two" he gives us both a smile and instructs me to lay back down on the table. "I'll need you to lift your shirt a little so I can see your stomach" the nurse steps behind me and brings in a machine that I didn't notice she had brought with her. The doctor takes some gel and squeezes the cold gel onto my stomach, I shiver at the contact of my skin. Nick stands up and holds onto my empty hand, the other is making sure my shirt doesn't get any of the gel on it. As the doctor is turning on the machine he takes an object that I can only explain looks like a microphone. "Is this your first child?"

"It's our fist child, not his though. He has two other children"

"Well they must be excited to get a new sibling"

"Extremely" Nick watches intently as the doctor takes the little microphone looking object and places it on my stomach, spreading the gel around. He watches as if this is the first time he has ever witnessed such an action. The room turns quiet as the tool moves all around my stomach, the doctor is looking at the screen trying to find the baby. I don't even realize I was holding my breath until I let it go as the room fills with the sound of a fast heartbeat.

"That would be your baby's heartbeat" I feel relief wash over me, I was waiting for something to go wrong, and now that it hasn't I can relax. He moves quickly trying to pinpoint the exact location where we can get the best view, I watch as the screen shows flashes of my insides, the baby's environment looks as if it's a swimming pool. Finally he is able to give us the best view. It looks like a little bean, not even the shape of a baby yet, and still I have fallen in love. I watch as it moves and I feel the urge to cry, there is life growing inside of me, a life me and Nick created together. I might have screwed up so many times in my life before but not this time, this time I did something good. I made something good. Soon the doctor freezes the image on the screen and wipes the gel off my stomach, it's gone just as it started. "You seem to be heading into your 12th week, meaning you are almost done with the first trimester"

"Okay"

"Your baby's heartbeat is strong, I want you to start taking some prenatal's as soon as possible and be back here for checkups"

"Okay, I'll have to work that around our hectic schedule but that will be possible"

"Would you like to get some sonogram pictures?"

"Yes, can we get three?"

"Of course" the nurse and doctor both walk out the door and leave me and Nick alone.

"Why did you want three?"

"One for us, one for everyone at work, and of course one for your mom. You know she would kill us if we didn't get her one" he laughs

"Your right"

"Of course I'm right"

"Zara is going to be really mad she missed this" I laugh this time and stand up, I let Nick wrap his arms around me and I feel safe, I feel comfortable. I feel the happiest I have ever been in my life.

 **Authors note-Hey guys! Sorry that this update took so long, but school has recently been a little hectic and I have not only been working on some of my own original stories but have had some personal things going on that I have been dealing through. First let's just talk about that SVU twist with Amanda being pregnant! Anyone is currently up to date with the show knows that the first episode of season 17 reviled there will be a little Rollins running around soon, sorry for spoilers if you haven't seen the episode. But honestly I am super excited and while Amanda has already denied it so many times it's so fucking obvious that Nick is her baby daddy and there will be an Amaro junior born, I'm telling you Amanda can deny it all she wants but I know that baby will come out tanned and looking just like Nick. Anyone who wan't to argue with me won't succeed in trying to convince me otherwise, I will die believing that it's Nick's child and that my shipped sailed and there is a Rollaro baby. Also I think it's pretty cool that right as I started writing this fanfic the fanfiction came to life in the form of pregnant Amanda. Anyway I hope you liked this chapter, if so please leave me a review and until next time-Izzy**


	5. Chapter 5

**Nick's POV**

"I officially have a baby bump" Amanda announces to me as she walks out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. I look up from the food that I am cooking to find her wearing a tight fit tank top that really emphasizes the size of her stomach.

"That's good?" Amanda has had to make adjustments to the idea of motherhood and her body change is just another adjustment for her.

"Yeah, it means everything is going good with the baby" Amanda is so down on herself about things and I know she is going to be even worse through the small bumps in the road that usually happen with every pregnancy. If anything were to go really wrong she would only blame herself for it, even if it is something that is out of her control. She walks over to me and I put my hands over her baby bump and watch as her face lights up at my touch. After being with her for years the smallest things still manage to make her so happy.

"It's like your stomach just grew overnight" she laughs

"Your telling me" she turns around and picks out a cucumber from the salad I just made, she puts it in her mouth with a crunch and talks to me through her chewing "What's with the fancy meal?"

"It's the last day with the four of us, I wanted to have a nice meal" Maria insisted she wanted Zara back sooner than what we had agreed on, I will be taking her to meet Maria later tonight after we finish eating our dinner and I really wanted to do something special, I'm not sure about the next time that all of us will be together again. I got lucky by getting the two of the them at the same time but it will be hard to coordinate something like this again, before this they had only been together a couple of times and I always hate that they both can't be with me full time.

"Don't you mean the five of us?" Amanda's joke makes me laugh

"That's right, how could I forget the newest Amaro" I give her belly a quick kiss and continue cooking the chicken I was making. Amanda sits at the counter nibbling on some vegetables as I work "If you keep eating you aren't going to be hungry when dinner is ready"

"I am growing your child, I need as much extra food as I can get" she tries to sound as serious as she can but her attempt at a serious face cracks and she lets out a chuckle

"Alright, alright. I surrender, just try not to eat the entire meal" she playfully hits me

"Don't you forget it Amaro" I finish the last touches on the meal and start to set the table, Amanda sits down in a chair at the table and I call the kids to dinner, Zara and Gil walk into the room and sit down at the table. They sit in their usual seats, a routine they have fallen into during their time here this summer. We all fill up our plates and start some conversation over the sound of our chewing.

"Did you pack up your stuff Zara?"

"Yes daddy"

"Remember we are meeting your mom right after dinner so we don't have much time to be getting your things together"

"Nick she knows" Amanda knows that it can't be easy on her, the constant shift that is her life now, back and forth between me and her mom. Not to mention having to leave her brother, in the short amount of time they have known each other they both have managed to form a tight bond that only siblings can share. Adding the new baby into that mix will only just add one more thing she will have to leave. We sit and eat, just enjoying the food and each others company, it is moments like this where everything feels so easy to just forget the line of work we do every single day, it was the shit that we see everyday that made Amanda scared about having a baby, before she was pregnant I had listened to her tell me multiple times how she didn't want to bring a child into the world we live in. She would constantly wonder how I seemed to be so clam with my two children after seeing just how fucked up the world can be.

We finish eating and Amanda starts to clear the table while Zara runs off to go gather her things, Gil stays seated and I can see the sadness radiating off him. I go over to him and put my hand on his shoulder "Don't worry, I'm going to try and get both of you again for Christmas, you will get to see her then" He smiles up at me

"I know dad" Zara comes out with her suitcase in hand, Gil stands up and opens his arm for her. Zara runs over to him and falls into his hug "I'll miss you"

"I'll miss you too" she hugs him tighter. I watch Amanda's face as she witnesses their goodbye and it's almost as if I can hear her heartbreaking, she loves those kids as if they were her own and I know how hard it is for her to watch them be separated. The two separate and Zara runs over to Amanda who wraps her up in a big hug.

"I'll miss you sweetie"

"I'll miss you, I love you Amanda"

"Love you too" Zara kisses Amanda's stomach

"Take care of my baby sister" Amanda laughs

"I will"

"Zara why don't you go and get your stuff into the car, Gil would you help her?"

"Sure dad" he picks up her suitcase for her and they walk out the door.

"Baby sister?"

"Zara has decided the gender of our baby for it" We both laugh at her joke

"There is a 50/50 chance it will be a girl, so she really couldn't be that far off"

"It would be just my luck that it is a girl"

"What? You don't want a girl?"

"You have met my sister, she is just one of the many handfuls of woman that are in my family" She silently groups herself in that category

"Well I have already have a daughter and she couldn't be more perfect"

"Yeah but she is half of you, and none of me"

"And you think Maria was totally sane?"

"I won't argue with you there" I give her a quick kiss and start to head out to the door

"Is Gil going with you?"

"No, he was just going to stay here with you"

"Okay, have fun" I give her a wink and walk out the door. I offered to let Gil come with us and in a honesty I wasn't super surprised when he denied my offer to let him come, I'm sure his mother filled his head with stories about Maria and I'm sure they weren't exactly that far off. The two of them are talking and standing by the car when I walk outside

"You ready to go?"

"Yeah" Zara gives Gil a quick hug "Love you"

"Love you too" Gil runs inside and I get in the car, Zara gets into the backseat and buckles in as I start the car and back out of the driveway. We are not driving long when Zara starts asking me questions

"When are you and Amanda getting married?"

"Umm...I'm not sure"

"But you two are having a baby, doesn't that mean you two should get married?"

"Well that's complicated, we are having a baby but just because of that doesn't mean we need to get married right away, we are living together and are committed to each other" I didn't know how to explain this to her, I know that I would absolutely want her to grow up and get married before she has children but being in the situation I am in now isn't one that you can just explain to your young daughter. Amanda is already having to adjust to becoming a mother, I don't want to overwhelm her further by proposing.

"You were married to mommy when you had me"

"But I wasn't married to Gil's mommy when she had him"

"That's true" she gets quiet after this and we continue our drive to meeting Maria. I find Maria's car and park next to it, Zara jumps out of the car and I grab her suitcase. Zara runs up to Maria "Mommy!"

"Hi baby"

"Mommy, I'm going to be a big sister" I had totally forgotten to tell Zara not to mention our baby news to her mother, I knew Maria would obviously find out sometime, I had just wanted it to come from me and at a better time.

"What?"

"Amanda is going to have a baby" Maria tries to keep a straight face but I can sense her anger

"Zara why don't you say goodbye to your dad and get your stuff and get into a car" she nods and comes over to me, I pick her up and kiss the top of her head

"I love you sweetie"

"I love you too" she kisses my cheek and I let her down, she takes her suitcase from my hand and gets into Maria's car. Luckily Maria waits until Zara is in the car to start yelling at me.

"What the hell is she talking about Nick?"

"Amanda is pregnant"

"Really Nick? This is the third woman you have gotten pregnant"

"Me and Amanda are living together, we have been in a relationship for years now. And you know I didn't know about Gil"

"This is just so much going on in her life, it's hard enough that she is constantly going back and forth between us, having another half sibling is just another drastic change"

"She loves being with us, I don't know why you hate Amanda so much"

"Nick I can't keep doing this, I'm going to get going now" I now realize how much we have both been yelling. She walks over at the car and before she closes the door I try to get the question I really wanted to ask her out.

"Can we talk about me getting her at Christmas?"

"I'll think about it" I watch as she gets in the car and drive away, her words still ringing in my ears, as if she has a claim to Zara, like she isn't my daughter too. I get in the car and slam the door behind me, I can feel my blood boiling with anger as I drive towards home, back to Amanda and our family.


	6. Chapter 6

**Amanda's POV**

I walk into the prescient with Nick following close behind, we got called in earlier than expected and were a little late because we had to drop Gil off with his mom. I almost run into Fin as we come inside and I look around for Olivia. "Where's Liv?"

"She is in her office"

"She isn't mad we are late right?"

"No, no. You guys are fine" I walk into Olivia's office and Nick and Fin follow

"Sorry we're late"

"We just had to drop Gil off"

"It's okay" I feel relieved and now that I can stop worrying about that I can focus on our latest case.

"So what's our new case about?"

"It's a molestation accusation, a mother said her daughter confided to her about her father molesting her. There isn't any evidence yet, the mother hasn't taken the daughter in to get checked out yet so there is still a possibility that a doctor could find something. The parents have recently been going through a pretty nasty divorce and this could just be the mothers attempt to get back at the father, we will know more once we interview both parents and the child"

"How old is the child?" I can't help but ask

"She's five"

"Where is the girl and her mother now?" Nick doesn't seem fazed by age, he is still asking questions and acting like the detective he is. I can't help but feel different this time, usually I can handle this but suddenly I feel like I'm going to be sick, and not from the morning sickness.

"They are in an interview room" Olivia looks over and she must notice the clammy expression I have on my face "Fin and Rollins why don't you go and interview the father and me and Nick will hang back and interview the girl and her mom"

"Are you sure? We could handle talking to the victim" I try and sound confident and calm, I can't let them think this pregnancy will somehow interfere with my ability to do my job. I place my hand on my now round yet still small baby bump and let that try and relax me a little.

"Fin, Nick, you two can talk to the dad while me and Amanda will talk to the victim" they leave and me and Olivia make our way into the interview room. Inside sits a little girl with her hair in a braid, she is wearing a summer dress and her mother is sitting next to her at the table. I sit down across from the little girl and Liv sits across from her mother. "Hi, I'm detective Benson and this is detective Rollins"

"Are you going to arrest him? Are you going to arrest that son of a bitch?" Already I can tell this mom is high strung, she could easily be doing this as a tactic to work in her favor during their divorce, it isn't something I would cross out yet. She seems very eager to have her husband locked away.

"Before anything can happen we are going to need to hear what happened"

"I already told you..."

"Not from you, from your daughter" I cut it, it might come off as rude but already this woman is seeming to piss me off. "Hi sweetie, what's your name?"

"I'm Molly, what's yours?"

"I'm Amanda" she already seems to understand and respond to questions pretty well for her young age, it may not seem like a lot but the judge always looks for more than just a child's ability to tell the truth when they get up there on that stand.

"Nice to meet you" she gives me a smile and then a look at her mom, wanting approval for being so well behaved and using manners. It's already a warning sigh that she is seeking for her mothers approval for the littlest things, it's hard at such a young age not to want to please your parents but if she will do anything to make her mother happy she might just tell a story for her, or remember one as best as she can.

"It's nice to meet you too" I give her a smile back and soon Liv jumps in asking her some basic questions that will eventually lead to her dad, then is when we will see what her reaction is to the direct question of what her daddy did to her.

"Has your daddy ever hurt you? Or touched you somewhere that made you uncomfortable?" she looks to her mother for either support or the answer that she wants her to say.

"Tell her about where your father touched you"

"If Molly could answer, it's best to hear it from her" the mother looks pissed at what Olivia is silently accusing her of, she keeps quiet though as Molly goes through what happened to her. As I sit there and listen I can feel my heart begin to break, I listen to this little girl describe details about things that shouldn't ever have happened to her, to anyone her age. I wrap my arms around my stomach as if I could protect my little baby that is growing inside me from the dangers of the outside world. Even if her mother has coached her to make these accusations it doesn't change the fact that this is actually happening right now, it makes me sick just thinking about. Special Victims is already hard enough, but the children are always the hardest. When she is done talking Olivia looks over at me, she looks concurred and excuses us from the room. I stand up and follow her out, she pulls me aside from the constant chaos that is our prescient "Are you okay Amanda?"

"Yeah, I'm fine"

"Are you sure? It is totally understandable if this is hard for you considering the pregnancy"

"I have handled this for years, I am completely fine" It would have been so easy to tell her, but I don't want to make her think that anything has changed in me, I won't let this pregnancy effect my job, I can't.

"Okay, I just know after I got Noah it seemed a little harder everyday, especially when it was a case about children, but if you need anything or to talk my door is always opened"

"Thanks" I give her a smile, I might not tell her but its nice to know that she wants to be there for me.

"So what do you think? Those details sounded pretty real but we can't know if the mother coached her in advanced"

"I wouldn't put it past her, she seemed pretty upset with the father before we even got into the molestation accusations. I think we should see what information we can get from Fin and Nick about the father and see if anything comes up during the doctors exam" We both walk back into the room and go back to the table and take our seats.

"So what are we going to do next?"

"The best thing to do is get Molly checked out by a doctor, see if there is any evidence"

"If there is does that mean you are going to arrest him?"

"Yes, and we will see where it goes from there"

"Will there be a trial?"

"We will have to see, these kinds of trials are difficult with younger children like your daughter but we are going to do everything we can. Now why don't we take her to the hospital, I can give you two a lift. Amanda why don't you stay here and wait for Fin and Nick to get back" I give her a smile of gratitude, I don't think I could bear to go to the hospital and hear what the doctor has to say. They all leave the room and I wait a few minutes before walking out myself, I go out into the break room and go to make myself a cup of coffee, it is then when I remember I am pregnant and can't actually drink coffee. I fish into my pockets for a couple of dollars and buy myself a soda, I have a headache anyway and I sit down to drink it. I can feel the tears falling and I don't even bother to wipe them away, how could I be getting this emotional over this job? I knew what I was getting into when I signed up for special victims, it's in the title, the sexual abuse of children are under that category. I hear footsteps coming and fearing that it's Nick I quickly wipe them away and act like I wasn't just crying. Luckily it is just Fin, he comes over and sits down next to me.

"Where's Nick?"

"He went to the hospital to catch up with Liv"

"Okay" I don't know what else to say, he might have not even seen me crying. If he had he isn't saying anything about it.

"It's okay to be upset about this, I know how hard these kinds of cases are"

"Do they ever make you think of your son?"

"All the time, I mean he isn't little anymore but he was once, knowing there are sickos like that out there, preying on their own children, everything about it is screwed up"

"It's always been hard, every case has been, but now that I'm a mom myself, I mean I am facing everything I need to protect this little baby from every single day"

"Children are always the hardest, I get what you mean"

"I just don't know how Nick dose it, stays so calm about all of this on a day to day basis. I mean he already has two kids and one on the way"

"Maybe this is his way of trying to keep things safer for his kids, he may try and stay calm but I know how much he worries"

"How?"

"He's a father, that's what we do. We are always worrying about our kids" I don't even have to thank Fin, he knows. This is the kind of relationship we have always had, I feel so comfortable around him, something I have never felt with Olivia. He was the first to know about Nick and I's relationship and I trust him with my life. I take one last sip of my soda and then throw the empty can away, I wipe my face one last time and then walk out, back to my job, back to protecting the innocent victims.


	7. Chapter 7

**Nick's POV**

"Do you want to know the sex?" I look to Amanda, we already had this conversation what feels like a million times, I want to know and she isn't sure yet. I fount out as soon as possible when Maria was pregnant with Zara and I tried to tell Amanda how much easier it made things, we would know what kinds of cloths to buy and what color to paint the baby's room but she still was against it. I think it's because she is afraid it will be a girl, she has said countless times how she is convinced that crazy runs through her family, and it's girls that have it worst. I also think that she is afraid it will be a girl and make bad decisions, Amanda has been through a lot and we see on a daily basis how easily woman get taken advantage of, there is a part of Amanda that worries our child will somehow be a victim, like she was once. The doctor looks from Amanda and I looking for an answer.

"We aren't sure yet"

"That is totally normal, especially with first time mothers. Why don't I write it down and put it in an envelope, that way you can open it any time you are ready" Amanda looks revealed, this gives her the option to put this aside for as long as she wants.

"Thank you"

"I will be right back" He smiles and then leaves the room. Amanda is pulling her shirt back down over her large belly and is siting up.

"See, the doctor thinks it's normal that I don't want to know"

"I never said it wasn't normal, I just think it will make things so much easier to know in advanced"

"Well I just want a little more time that's all"

"Babe, I know that, but just think about it okay?"

"I will"

"Besides, if we know the sex then we can actually give it a name rather than just calling it baby Amaro"

"You know I hate it when Fin dose that"

"Well then maybe we should just find out so then it can be baby girl Amaro or baby boy Amaro" This earns a little smile from her. The doctor walks back in the the envelope and more sonogram pictures in hand.

"Thank you doctor"

"You two have a nice day" We both walk out together and get into the car, Amanda is quiet. I am about to ask her what's wrong when my phone buzzes, it is sitting in the cup holder and Amanda looks down at it.

"Who is it?"

"Your mom"

"What dose it say?"

"It says 'Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?' Wow, it's like she could sense it"

"Text her back 'Not yet'" She texts my mom back and sets the phone back into the cup holder, she gets quite again. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just thinking"

"Thinking about what?"

"Possible names for the baby"

"Really, I already thought of a couple myself"

"What are they?"

"For a boy I was thinking Alejandro or Mateo, and for a girl I liked Isabella or Camilla" Amanda starts laughing "What?"

"They are so Latin"

"Exactly, my mom would love to have a grandchild with a Latin name"

"What about Zara? That isn't very Latin, besides this baby has a white mom" She laughs

"Maria choose Zara's name, and Alejandro can be called Alex for short, and Isabella could be called Bella"

"I could get on board for Alex, and as much as I hate it the only name I have been able to think of is for a girl"

"Let's hear it"

"I liked the name Jessie"

"Jessie?" I can't contain my laughter, it just pours out of me.

"What's wrong with Jessie?"

"It's just so southern, and Amanda I love you but I absolutely hate that name"

"There is no hope for Jessie?"

"No chance whatsoever"

"See, and you wonder why I am hoping for a boy" I pull up to the prescient and park the car, I look over to the envelope and Amanda follows my eyes. She picks it up and holds it close "And this is coming with me, just to make sure you don't get any ideas about sneaking a peek"

"Fine" We both get out of the car and walk back into the building and get into the elevator. We walk out of the elevator and of course are greeted by everyone, all desperate to know if it's a boy or a girl.

"So what is it? What is baby Amaro"

"Fin, you know I hate it when you do that"

"Just tell me so then I can stop referring to it as baby Amaro"

"We didn't find out"

"Why not?"

"Amanda didn't want to know yet, the doctor wrote it down and put it in an envelope that Amanda is currently holding hostage"

"I'm not holding it hostage, I'm just making sure none of you nosy boys take a look"

"You really don't want to know? My sister knew as soon as she could when she was pregnant with my niece" Carisi pipes in.

"Watch it Carisi, you are the only one who hasn't gotten on my nerves today"

"What did I do?" Fin pretends to look more offended than he actually is.

"Don't dawn to much on it Fin, it's just hormones" Liv pokes her head out of her office and we all take our attention to her.

"Rollins your back, good. I need you and Fin to go and ask around the park to see if there were any witnesses"

"Is this about the rape in the park?"

"Yeah"

"Okay, right on it. But would it be okay if I took Carisi?"

"Yeah, sure" She points at Carisi

"You are coming with me" He gets out of his chair and starts to follow her, she stops at her desk and grabs the envelope "This is coming with me, so you two don't get any ideas" she directs this at both of us.

"Is she really this weird about this?"

"It's just her way of trying not to worry so much"

"What do you think it is?"

"Well honestly from how worried she has been about it being a girl I could see it being a girl"

"Maybe all that crazy is coming from the baby" I let myself laugh while Amanda isn't around, knowing she would kill me if she knew I laughed.

"Did you find out when it was your son?"

"No, we waited until he was born but I always kind of hand a feeling about it"

"I just hope she won't make me wait until it's the baby's due date" I sit down at my desk and try to focus on my work but my mind keeps filling with the possibilities of what could be written in that envelope.

I sit at my desk and wait for Amanda to return, the only negative to living with someone you work with is that you drive home with them, meaning when they are late you are also late getting home. I can hear Amanda's bickering from the elevator, poor Carisi. They both walk over to their desks and start to collect their things, that envelope is still clutched in her hand. Carisi says goodbye and leaves, I walk over to Amanda and give her a quick kiss on the cheek. "What happened?"

"Nothing" I decide not to push it any further and let us walk out to our car in silence, it isn't until we get into the car when she starts sighing as if she is ready to burst with what she is holding in. I am looking at the road ahead when I ask her

"What is wrong?"

"Just something a woman at the park said to me"

"What?"

"We were asking people around the park if the saw anything when one of the woman I was asking questions said the way I was carrying made it definite that it was a girl"

"Oh"

"Yeah, she thinks just because she has her own kids that she knows, and when she asked me if I knew already she kind of apologized as if she had opened up this envelope and read me what it said, there is still a chance it could be a boy"

"I know, it's a 50/50 chance"

"It was just annoying and now I want to open this more than anything, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it all day"

"Why don't we open it then when we get home"

"Really?"

"Yeah, and I'll even start on painting the baby's room in celebration" She smiles at me. As I pull into the driveway I can feel the anticipation weighting down on me, I am about to find out if I'm having a boy or a girl. We walk into the house and into the bedroom, she sets the envelope down on the bed and we look back and forth between each other, trying to decide who is going to open it. "Do you want to open it?" I ask her, I mean she is the mother after all, she is carrying the baby.

"No, yo do it. I'm too nervous"

"Okay" I pick up the envelope and she holds her breath. I swear it is so quite we could hear the sound of the glue being torn from the paper. I finish opening and then pull the piece of paper out of it, the paper if folded in half and I unfold it to reveal what we are having.

"What is it?"

"It's a girl" Her face looks like she might cry, suddenly I feel really guilty about pushing her so much about this, now she isn't happy. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed so hard" I wrap my arms around her and wait for a response from her, any response at all.

"No it's okay, I'm glad we opened it"

"Are you okay?" I pull away from the embrace and see that she is crying.

"Yeah, I'm not upset"

"Then why are you crying?"

"I'm happy, I'm actually really happy about this. We are going to have a daughter" I kiss her and then pull her in for another hug.

"I don't want you to worry okay? She is half me so she can't possibly get all of your family's crazy"

"I hope not"

"I mean did Zara get any of Maria's crazy?"

"Thankfully no, I have to call her in the morning and tell her that it is confirmed that she is having a baby sister" I take her hand and lead her out of the room.

"Come on"

"Where are we going?"

"I told you, we are going to start to paint the room tonight"

"Really? Because I distinctly remember you saying that you would do it" She puts emphasis on the 'you' "And I'm tired"

"Okay, we can go to bed after we get it started, come on it will be fun. I just want to do one thing together"

"Fine" I lead her into the spare room that will now belong to our daughter, the walls are simply white and everything is cleared out, the only thing that remains is two cans of paint that sit alongside the wall. One is pink and the other is blue. We walk over to the pink one and I open it, Amanda grabs a roller and together we dip it in the pink paint.

"Ready?"

"Ready" Together we hold onto the handle and roll the first bit of paint onto the wall, the splash of color ignites the room from a dull empty room to the future that our daughter will have in this room. With that first roll of paint starts the first memory that this room will have, and soon many more will be created as our daughter grows up here.

 **Authors note-Quick thing for anyone who knows Amanda's baby was born and named on the show and the name was Jessie so I just thought I would add that in there, I just wanted to clear that up for anyone who might have though Jessie was just a random name.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Amanda's POV**

I watch as he rolls the pink paint onto the walls, as he covers the white surface with the color that our daughter will see everyday. With every roll of the paint on the wall the room seems to get brighter and brighter. I rub my stomach and feel the tiny kicks of our baby as I watch him paint. "Are you just going to watch, or are you going to help me out?"

"I am overseeing the painting process, I'm just making sure that you are doing it correctly"

"I am just painting the room, it shouldn't need to be overseen" He laughs. "And if I had help I could get done faster"

"I am growing your child, I just don't have the energy right now"

"Whatever you say honey" He says it sarcastically. I look around the room and how by each second it's being completed, with the walls covered with the soft pink color I can now start to imagine the future the daughter will have growing up in this room.

"We need to go shopping soon for stuff for her"

"We will, just let me finish this room first. As soon as I'm done we can go and get the crib and her dresser, and everything else she will need"

"Okay, I just want to make sure she will have everything she needs" I have been reading this book that Nick's mom bought me, it's called "What to expect when your expecting" and it's said that around the second trimester I would be going through a nesting faze, it's where I want to make sure everything is perfect and ready for the baby, I can feel it coming on when I look at this room and all the potential is has to be the perfect place for our daughter.

"Trust me, she will" He gives me a reassuring smile and dips the roller into the tin of paint. I can hear the sound of the doorbell ringing and soon Frannie's barks fills the sound of the hallway. "I can get that"

"No, let me. You keep up the good work" I give him a thumbs up and then I walk down the hall to meet Frannie who is circling around the front door. I hold her collar and hold her back as I open up the front door, when I open it up I am face to face with the last person I expected at my front door. "Kim?"

"Amanda" Kim gives me a smile that she thinks could get her anything from anyone. Her eyes move from my face down to my round stomach. This must be a surprise to her to find me pregnant now, I remember the last time I saw her she lied about being pregnant herself, and then got me mixed up in the trouble that she always brings.

"Kim, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Amanda, don't be so rude to your sister"

"How did you even know where I lived?" The last time she came into the city she had came to my old apartment, the one that she robbed the last time she visited.

"Mom told me" I should have known that my mother would be the one to tell Kim, I decided that it was the right thing to so to tell my mother about my pregnancy, I wasn't looking for anything out of it, I just thought that I shouldn't try and separate us even further. It was her who asked for my address to send some money, I should have figured that she would jump at the chance to share my personal life with Kim as soon as she batted her eyes and asked.

"Kim what is it you want?"

"I don't know why you are being so rude, I just was going to be in New York and I thought I should come visit my sister"

"Amanda who was it at the door?" I can hear Nick walking down the hallway, soon he is standing behind me. "Kim?" Nick is just as surprised to see my sister at the door.

"Hi Nick, I didn't know that this was your house" Even thought this was Nick's house before I moved in, it's still insulting that she just assumed that this wasn't our house together.

"Yeah, It's mine and Amanda's house"

"Well that's so great, I can see you two have been awfully busy"

"Yeah I guess you could say that"

"So Amanda, are you going to invite me in? Or are we just going to have to continue catching up while I stand outside?" She smiles again but I can tell that she already knows that she is going to get what she wants.

"Yeah, Kim why don't you come on inside" I watch as she gives Nick a smile after he gives into her, I can already feeling it burning inside of me. I remember how she hung all over him the last time she was here, she always wants to take what I have, she has a knack for taking everything good in my life to try and make it her own.

"Nick can I speak to you for a second?" I give him a death glare, letting him know that I am not okay with this. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"What did you want me to do?"

"Do you not remember the last time she was here, she robbed me and almost got me arrested. And you just let her into the house where our children live"

"Amanda she already knows where we live, you can't just expect that she won't keep coming back. Let's just see what she wants and we can make her leave afterwords"

"Fine" We walk into the kitchen where Kim is looking around, I hate that she is stepping into the new life I have made with Nick, hate that she now thinks she is apart of this. "So Kim, what brings you here?"

"I wanted to see my sister, is that a crime?"

"If you are here for money we can't offer you any"

"Oh of course not, not with your baby on the way. It is Nick's isn't it?"

"Kim!" I can't believe that she would even insinuate something like that.

"What? I'm just looking out for you, you never know" She directs this comment at Nick and I can feel that burning inside of me again.

"Well it is Nick's, I am 100% sure about that"

"Wow, so Nick how's your daughter?"

"She's good"

"She was your only kid from you marriage right?"

"Yeah, but I also have a son"

"Wow, step mom to two kids and now having your own. You will be very busy Amanda"

"We aren't married actually so I'm not officially their step mom yet"

"You aren't married yet? You really want your baby to be born without their parents being married?"

"She will fine, we are committed and that's what matters" She seems to be further irritating me by the second.

"She? It's a girl?"

"Yes"

"Oh my god! That is so exciting. I'm going to have a niece. When did you find out?"

"Just a few weeks ago"

"Well that settles it, while I'm here we need to go shopping, I want to buy her some stuff"

"I don't know, we've been really busy paining the nursery and everything"

"You know what Amanda, I think I will be okay finishing up the painting on my own, why don't you two go out and have fun. You can pick up some stuff that you were saying we needed" If I could throw daggers with my eyes that is exactly what I would be hurling at him.

"Yay! I'm going to go wait in the car" She gets up and goes out the front door, it was that easy.

"Nick, what the hell was that?"

"You wanted her out of the house and now she it, just go and pretend to have fun and figure out why she is here and what she is planning"

"Fine, but that nursery better be painted when I get home"

"It will" I go and pick up my purse from the counter and Nick tries to kiss me but I only let him kiss my cheek, I can't let him off the hook that easily. "I love you"

"I know" I walk out the door and see Kim sitting in her car, I get in the passengers seat and she backs out of the driveway. The drive into the city is pretty quiet and I try and avoid conversation as much as possible. We go into the store and I am looking around at all the stuff, I find this little pink bear and think it's the cutest thing I have ever seen. I buy it and am looking at cribs when Kim comes over to me with a onsie that I have to admit looks adorable, it says "I heart my mommy" and it makes me kind of emotional when I look at it. I'm really someones mom now. "That is super cute Kim"

"I know, and who would have thought in a million years that I would be shopping with you for baby cloths"

"What's that supposed to mean?" She hasn't said yet that it was meant as a bad thing but it still feels like she meant it to be hurtful.

"All I meant was that I never expected you to be pregnant, I mean sure you could have gotten yourself knocked up but not in a committed relationship, much less with someone with two other kids of their own"

"There is nothing wrong with the fact that Nick has two other kids, I love those kids and they have just given me practice for being a mother"

"Come on Amanda, this isn't you. You aren't really the mom and step mom type, I mean you are so about your work, always have been"

"People can change okay?"

"All I'm saying is I never thought you wanted to have kids"

"Maybe I didn't, but now I couldn't imagine wanting anything more" I take the onsie out of her hand and go up to the register and purchase it, I won't let her completely ruin my day.

"Amanda don't be upset"

"No Kim, I am. You can't just walk into my life whenever you please and try and tell me how I feel about my child" I walk out of the store and look around for a cab.

"Amanda where are you going? I was your ride here"

"I'll just take a cab home" I hail the cab and get into it, I give the driver the address and look at Kim one more time before it drives away. The cab pulls up into the driveway and I pay the driver and get out of the car, I walk through the front door and set my purse down on the kitchen counter and walk into our daughters room. I am pleasantly surprised to find that Nick has actually finished it, the walls are all covered in the soft pink paint and the tarp and all the paint cans are gone, it looks more real than ever right now. Nick comes up behind my and wraps my arms around my waist.

"Hey"

"You finished it"

"Are you surprised?"

"Yeah, it looks really nice"

"Thank you" I turn around and kiss him, everything from earlier is forgiven.

"How was it?"

"It was awful, but I don't want to talk about that right now"

"Okay" I pull out the bear and the onise from the bag to show him.

"Look what I bought though, it's not a crib or anything but it's a start" He holds the bear in his hands and gets a big grin on his face.

"I love it"

"I saw a crib that might look nice in the room though"

"We can look at that tomorrow" I kiss him again and look around the room one more time, taking it all in. "And maybe we could pick a name soon, I was thinking we could paint in on the wall, it could be over her crib"

"I like that, I like that a lot actually" I try and push everything Kim said away for now, it doesn't matter what she thinks, I am having a baby and I couldn't be happier. I am now more than just Detective Amanda Rollins, I'm somebody's mom.

 **Hey guys, I really want to apologize for the lack of updates, I have had a lot going on in my personal life recently and I feel really bad for not posting but so much was going on that I just needed a break but I can promise you that this fanfic should be over before I return to school in the fall, I will not let you guys down anymore. If you liked this chapter I would really appreciate a review, I love you all so much and am so thankful you have been so patient with me, and until next time-Izzy**


	9. Chapter 9

**Nick's POV**

"I really think we should pick a name soon" I say to Amanda as she sets up the IPad on the kitchen counter.

"We will, don't worry"

"I just think we should pick the name out so we can write it on the wall of her room"

"We still have plenty of time for that, but we don't have a whole lot of time before we have to go to work to facetime with Zara" Amanda sits down in one of the chairs at the counter and I watch her as she tries to get comfortable. That has been a hard task for her lately, I hear her as she stirs all through the night. She leans back in the chair and holds onto her stomach, she is nearing the end of her sixth month and her stomach has really gotten huge, I try not to comment on it because I know she feels a little self conscious about it, she would never say it out loud but I know the toll it's taken on her body and her work life.

"You okay?" I put my hand on her back and rub small circles around.

"Yeah, your daughter is just kicking the crap out of my insides" She lets out a small laugh and takes my hand to feel. I put my hand on her stomach and can feel the little kicks that are coming from inside, this may be the second time I am going through this but it still amazes me as much as it did the first time. After Amanda is as comfortable as she is going to get I click the facetime icon on the IPad and find Zara's name. It dials and we wait for her to answer, her face appears on the screen and her hair is done up in a ponytail and she looks like she is ready to go to school.

"Hi Daddy, hi Amanda"

"Hey Sweetie"

"Hi baby" She waves to both of us and I wave back, we facetime on a regular basis but she is always excited when Amanda joins in too talk about the baby with her.

"How is my baby sister?"

"She's good, she is kicking a lot right now, tiring me out" She laughs it off as a joke even though we both know it's the truth.

"Have you come up with a name yet?"

"Were still thinking about it, I was just telling Amanda about how we should decide soon"

"What names do you like?"

"We have talked about Isabella, or Camilla. What one do you like?"

"I like both of them, but Isabella is really pretty"

"I liked that one a lot too" Amanda smiles and I know she is genuine, she seems like she hasn't decided yet but I think she already has.

"So what have you been up too? How has school been going?"

"It's been good, I like my teachers and have made some new friends" I know in Maria's crazy brain she moved with Zara for the right reasons but that couldn't have been easy for her, uprooting her whole life to go to a new state and have to make new friends. It is always nice to hear that she is doing good.

"That's really good, are you just about to leave for school?"

"Yeah, mommy is going to take me soon but I wanted to talk to you guys before I had to go"

"Well we miss you a lot, me and your dad have agreed it's lonelier when you and your brother aren't here"

"Have you talked to Gil a lot?"

"Yeah, we try and facetime him every week too"

"I miss him a lot, I can't wait to see him again"

"I know baby, and we can't wait to see you" Zara smiles at her and seeing this right now is why I know Amanda will be such a great mother.

"When will my sister be born?"

"Sometime in December" Talking about the baby's due date reminds me that I need to talk to Maria about having them for Christmas, the baby should be born around that time and it would be great to have both my kids around so they can spend some time with their new sister. I hear Maria's voice in the background telling Zara they need to get going.

"Mommy says I have to go, I love you"

"Can I talk to mommy real quick?" I dread most conversations I have to have with Maria but it's now or never. I see her run out of screen to go talk to her mom, Zara runs back into frame.

"Mommy will be right here, bye Amanda, bye daddy"

"By Zara, we love you" Zara blows kisses and Amanda blows her one back.

"Love you" Zara leaves and I see Maria sit down.

"Hello Nick, Amanda" Amanda gives a polite wave and takes the icy way Maria said her name as her que to leave. Amanda stands up and in the process gives Maria a full shot of her large pregnant belly. "How far along is she?"

"She's almost seven months"

"Zara tells me it's a girl"

"Yeah"

"When is Amanda due?"

"December, that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. Since she is due in December I was hoping I could have Zara for Christmas this year, so if the baby is born she can spend some time with her new baby sister, Gil will be there too. She can spend some time with the family"

"Nick, I don't know if this is a good idea"

"I know that's what you think but she loves it over here and I think it's really good for her to spend time with her brother and she is just so excited to be a big sister"

"All this back and forth isn't good for her"

"I know but you already get her for Halloween and Thanksgiving"

"Those are holiday's during her school year, it doesn't make sense for her to fly out"

"That's why having her for Christmas makes the most sense, she will be on her winter break and you can celebrate Christmas with her early, it will be fun for her"I can tell she is actually considering this.

"Yeah alright, we can talk about it more later, right now I have to get her to school"

"Thank you, talk to you later"

"Bye" I close the IPad and walk over to the counter and pick up my car keys, Amanda has a jacket on now and is standing by the front door waiting for me.

"How did it go?"

"I think she is going to agree" I smile and Amanda pulls me into a hug, I kiss the top of her head and she smiles up at me.

"I'm really happy, I miss having Zara and Gil around"

"I know you do"

"Nick, were going to have three kids"

"I know"

"Are you scared?" I stop to think about her question, I haven't really given much thought to what it will actually be like when we have to take care of three kids, I mean any normal person would be scared but I look at Amanda and know my answer.

"No, not really" I look at her and know that I'm with the right person, and with her we can do anything that is thrown our way, together.

 **Author's Note- Hey guys! Just want to apologize for not updating sooner, I just got back from a vacation though so this was one of the first chances I have gotten, sorry again and hope you guys enjoy this chapter, love you all and until next time-Izzy**


	10. Chapter 10

**Amanda's POV**

I walk into the building still not knowing what is even going on, Nick is holding my hand and is leading me to whatever is happening. "Will you tell me where we are going?"

"For the last time, it is a surprise"

"You know I hate surprises" I am seven months pregnant and incredibly huge and uncomfortable. I have had a long week at work and just wanted to enjoy my day off, instead Nick told me to put on a nice dress and get in the car. Nick laughs at my comment and stops walking, he turns to face me.

"Honey, you look so beautiful and just trust me"

"I'm not beautiful, I'm huge and frankly irritated that you won't tell me where the hell we are going" He takes my hand up to his lips and kisses it.

"I love you, and you just need to trust me"

"Fine, and you know I trusted you when you said you had a condom and look where we are now" I point to my stomach, this earns another laugh from him and he kisses me quickly and then takes my hand again and we keep walking. He leads me to some doors and we stop. "What is happening?"

"You'll see" He opens up the door and on the other side is pink balloons and streamers, I see Olivia and Fin and Carisi and a bunch of my friends. I also see my mom and Kim standing by the bar, of course they are here. I look up to see a banner that says congratulations and I feel so much joy pass over me.

"Surprise!" They all yell and I put my hand up to my chest, I didn't expect anything like this. Nick kisses me on the cheek.

"Are you surprised?" He whispers to me, I turn around and put my hands on his face, I kiss him and can feel him smiling though the kiss.

"I am very surprised, when did this all happen?"

"Well everyone at work wanted to throw you a baby shower and your mom called me and wanted to throw one so we let her plan it, I hope that's okay" My relationship with my mom has always been very tense but it won't ruin the day for me that she's hear, it annoys me that Kim is, but I am just going to have a nice time with Nick.

"This is lovely" I walk into the room and Olivia gives me a hug. "Thank you so much"

"Your welcome, I am really glad you are so surprised"

"I didn't suspect anything" Fin comes up along with Carisi.

"I was really sure that Nick was going to give it away" Fin says.

"He didn't tell me anything" Nick comes up and wraps his arm around me.

"I promised them that I wouldn't tell you" He kisses my cheek and places a hand on my stomach, I start to feel the flutters of kicks from our daughter.

"I think I should go say hi to my mom"

"I'll come with you, it will be nice to meet your mom" He gives me a smile and we go over to the bar, my mom stands up and gives me a hug.

"Amanda, look how big you've gotten"

"Yeah"

"How far along are you now?"

"Seven"

"Wow, my granddaughter is almost here" She smiles and I try and smile back. She turns to Nick. "And this must be the man who got my daughter pregnant"

"Mom" She is where Kim gets her outspokenness from.

"It's okay Amanda, I'm Nick" He extends his hand out to her and she shakes it.

"Nice to finally meet you Nick"

"Nice to meet you too"

"So why is it exactly that you don't want to marry my daughter?"

"Mom!" I say it a little louder this time.

"What? I'm simply asking a question"

"Well it's not an appropriate one"

"What is inappropriate about wondering why my grandchild will be born out of wedlock?" We are from the south and my mom has always been traditional, I'm sure it bothers her that we aren't married yet.

"We haven't gotten married yet because we weren't just going to get married because I am pregnant, we are committed to each other and that's what matters"

"We want to get married eventually" I smile at him, we have talked about marriage before and it's nothing that I'm not ready for. Before being with Nick I was always afraid of committed relationships, and now I am pregnant and living with a man. Things have definitely changed in my life, for the better though.

"Hello again Nick" Kim gives him a flirtatious smile and I feel my blood boiling, of all day's to do this, at my baby shower.

"Hi Kim" He is being polite, I know he doesn't like the way she treats me, the way she is always trying to undermine me.

"How have you been? We barley got to catch up last time I saw you"

"I've been good, been getting excited about the baby"

"I know, I am just so happy for you guys" I decide to intervene right now, put a stop to this.

"Well we are both really happy you are here, we are going to go talk to some of the other people who came, and even take a look at the cake" I give her a fake smile and then take Nick's hand and lead him in the other direction, I don't even give Kim a chance to say anything back.

"I'm sorry about that"

"It's okay"

"No, it's fine. I mean it's your day and I just want you to have a good time and it be as stress free for you" I turn to him and smile, I know he would do anything for me, I'm so incredibly lucky.

"Thank you" We stop at the table where the cake is and I look at how cute it is. It is pink frosting and two layers, along the top it reads 'Congratulations Nick and Amanda" "I love this cake"

"It is pretty cute"

"And it looks like it tastes amazing" Sweets has been a big craving of mine during the pregnancy, cake and ice cream have been just a few of the things I am always craving. He laughs.

"I think they are going to serve lunch soon, and then I think we are going to open presents after, so for now why don't you go talk to some of your friends and I'll get you some water"

"Thank you, thank you so much" I kiss his cheek and he goes off to get me some water, I rub my stomach and feel so happy that I am surrounded by all my friends and they have come to celebrate me having our little girl.

We eat lunch and the table is filled with people from work, it is nice to just be with the people who mean most to us right now. The waiters come and take away the last of the plates from the cake, Nick leans over to me and whispers something. "Zara would have loved this"

"I know, but we get to see her in a little over a month" I know Zara would have a fun time getting to see all the presents that her baby sister is getting.

"Yeah, I know. I still miss her" Olivia stands up and grabs a chair and puts it in the middle of all the presents.

"Okay Amanda, it's time to open up your presents" I get up and sit down, Nick brings his own chair and sets it next to mine. Olivia rolls over a crib, it is white and absolutely beautiful. "Nick told us that you didn't have a crib yet and from all of us at SVU, we wanted to get you this crib"

"It is so beautiful, thank you so much"

"Fin picked it out" I smile at him and I can almost swear I see him blush.

"It was nothing" He smiles back and I get up to hug him, Liv, and Carisi.

"Thank you guys again" I continue to open my presents, next I open a changing table from my mom and Kim. Throughout the next hour I open a bunch of cute cloths, toys, and about a million diapers. I got everything I could have ever asked for and even more, a few weeks ago I was so worried that we wouldn't get everything we need before the baby comes and now it seems like we need everything. I go over to the table that once held the cake but now has two different jars and little slips of paper with a cup of pens next to it. I look at the jars, one says the name Isabella, and the other says Camilla. Nick comes up from behind and wraps his arms around me, as best as he can do with my big pregnant belly. "What's this?"

"It's a little game your mom set up. I told her our two names that we liked and she thought it would be fun for people to vote on what name they like better"

"Wow, that was actually nice, wonder what the catch will be" Nick laughs

"I don't think she likes me very much"

"That's alright, I kinda like you" He laughs at this too and kisses my forehead.

"Did you have fun today?"

"Yeah"

"Do you feel more ready for this?" I turn to face him.

"Yes, I am so ready for her to be here" Nick smiles at me, it is my favorite thing about him and I hope our daughter has his smile.

"I'm glad you had fun today, I really had hoped this would make you feel more relaxed and at ease about everything"

"It does" I let him hold me and know that no matter how scary this may feel sometimes I know that as long as Nick is there to do this with me we will be okay. I look at the jar to left, the one with the most slips of paper and smile at the thought of that being our daughters name, just looking at it makes me sure that is the perfect name for her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Nick's POV**

"This is bullshit" I hear Amanda say as she walks past my desk over to her's. She sits down and stars angrily going through her drawers and pulls out stacks of paper work. I walk over to her and lean against her desk, she is clearly upset and making huffing noises.

"What's wrong?" I ask her, I smooth back her hair and wait for her to calm down so she can actually answer me.

"Olivia thought it was a good idea that since I'm so far along that I should be on desk duty. I can't believe she is taking me out of the case"

"Your not off the case, you are just not out in the field, that's all"

"That's easy for you to say, you are allowed to go out and actually catch the son of a bitch, I just have to report about it"

"I'm sorry, but just remember you are doing this for Isabella" It was the name we both decided was right for our daughter, we had just finished painting her name on the wall over her crib that we got at the baby shower.

"It's fine, it's not like this is your fault or anything" She says in a sarcastic tone.

"I don't know how this is my fault, I didn't tell Liv to put you on desk duty"

"Well you got me pregnant so it really is"

"And may I remind you that at the end of this we will have our baby"

"I'm so sick of being pregnant, I just want her to be born already"

"I know, you just have two more months left and you will be on maternity leave soon anyway so you won't be working many cases"

"Well it's frustrating when a son of a bitch rapes three woman in two weeks and I can't even help catch him"

"Were all frustrated by the case"

"At least you get to be frustrated not stuck behind a damn desk" She is clearly not reasonable right so I kiss her forehead and walk back over to my desk. I grab my coat and go find Olivia, we are supposed to go interview the second victim and try and find a connection between the three vics, it could possibly help us narrow down who this guy is. I find Liv in her office and ask her if she's ready to go.

"Yeah" She grabs her coat and we walk out to the car, as we are walking out I pass Amanda and I notice she is still clearly angry. Liv must notice it too because as soon as we get into the car she turns to me "How's Amanda?"

"She's pretty pissed right now but I think she will be fine, it's just a change for her that's all"

"It's having a child, of course it's a change for her"

"I know that"

"But you also have two other children, you have already done this before and it's all different for her, I can't tell you how many cases I couldn't be as involved in because Noah was sick or needed me, I don't regret any of those times for a single second but she has to understand that she just needs to take a step back right now"

"She will, I am confident in her ability to be a mom but I just don't like her so frustrated and angry about this"

"I can tell her I'm not worried about her being on desk duty, if we were short staffed to begin with then I would be a little worried but I know we can still get this guy because we have so many detectives who won't rest until he is put away"

We walk into the victims apartment and she sits down on the couch across from us, I look at her behavior and can see absolute terror, the attack still fresh in her mind. "Hi, Jamie, I'm detective Benson we talked at the hospital"

"I remember" She says in a quiet voice.

"And I'm detective Amaro, can you go through with us what you remember from that night?"

"Do I have to go over it again?" I know it's been a few days since the attack but she clearly is still shaken up by it, that's the thing about this line of work, you tend to notice that while victims can overcome the fear but they can just as easily remember every detail of the attack no matter how long it's been.

"It could really help us find out who did this, even the littlest details could help"

"Okay, I remember walking home when suddenly I was being pulled into an alley, everything was happening so fast but I do remember him gripping my throat and pinning me to the wall. I couldn't move when he was raping me but I do remember his breath on me and he kept repeating the same thing over and over"

"What did he say?" I ask her, we already know the phrase but that's what's going to tie him to all three rapes.

"He kept saying 'are you sorry now?' I didn't even know what that meant, I have never even met this guy before, what would I have to be sorry for?"

"You may not know him personally but he might know you and for some reason decided that you've done something to him. If you can think of anyone who might know you that has made you feel uncomfortable"

"I can't remember anyone like that"

"Okay, well could you look at some pictures and see if you recognize these two woman, they were also attacked and he same thing was said to them. She nods her head and Olivia hands her to ipad with the pictures on it, she is looking at them when my phone begins to ring. I check and it's Fin calling.

"I'm sorry, I have to take this" I step aside into the other room and answer the phone. "Fin, what is it?"

"Nick, please don't worry but Amanda is in the hospital" I feel my heart drop.

"What? Oh my god, is she okay? Is the baby okay?"

"Everything is fine, Amanda was experiencing some pain and so I brought her in, the doctors are still monitoring her but she has to stay overnight"

"I will be there right away" I hang up the phone and walk back into the living room. Olivia must noticed the worried look on my face because she walks over to me.

"Is everything okay?"

"It's Amanda, she's in the hospital, I'm sorry but I have to go"

"I understand, you need to be with her, call me from the hospital and let me know if she's okay" I only nod my head and then I run out to the car, I get in and buckle my seat belt quickly and speed off towards the hospital. I pull into the parking lot and run into the hospital and up to the desk.

"I'm looking for Amanda Rollins" I say out of breath, I run my fingers through my hair nervously as I wait for her to look up what room she is in.

"She is in room 205"

"Thank you" I run to the elevator and feel like the minute between floors is the longest minute of my life. I rush out of the elevator and down the hall and find room 205, I open up the door and see Amanda laying in the bed, there is a monitor on her stomach and I can hear the steady sound of her heartbeat and our daughters. Fin is sitting in a chair on one side of the bed and he stands up when I walk into the room.

"Nick" His voice is hushed, he doesn't want Amanda to wake up.

"What happened?" I say in a hushed tone.

"We were at work and she was just sitting at her desk when I noticed she was really uncomfortable, I asked her if she was okay and she just thought it was braxton hicks but then they started getting worse and worse so I took her in"

"Do they know what caused it?"

"No, what we do know is that the baby's heart rate was dropping when she came in but they have it under control now, they want to monitor them for a night though"

"Okay, but everything is fine now?"

"Yes"

"I can't believe I wasn't there, I should have been there" Fin puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Don't beat yourself up over this, you were doing our job and she's fine, really"

"But what if she wasn't, she was so angry about being on desk duty and I didn't even really talk to her"

"Nick, she is fine and there is no way you could have been there, you were with Liv"

"Oh my god Liv" I had just forgotten that I took the car, Olivia wouldn't have any way of leaving the victims house. "I took the car, she will need a ride back"

"I can handle that, you just go in there and be with her" I nod my head and walk over to the chair Fin was once sitting in and I scoot it closer to the bed. I take her hand in mine and kiss it, she stirs and opens up her eyes.

"Hi" She says in a groggy voice, her voice is thick with sleep and I can feel tears spilling down my face as I take a deep breath, she is okay. "Babe, don't cry" She lifts her other hand up to my face and wipes away the tears.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I wasn't there"

"It's not your fault, it's mine"

"What?"

"Earlier today I was complaining about how I was on desk duty and I said I was over being pregnant and then something went wrong. All I could keep thinking about is how they might have to deliver her today and how I shouldn't have been saying that"

"Hey hey hey, this isn't your fault at all"

"I shouldn't have said anything at all, I shouldn't have been complaining so much"

"You did nothing wrong, everything is fine, she is okay"

"I know, but what if she wasn't?"

"Don't think like that" She is crying now and I wipe away her tears, I reach into my pocket and pull out the little black box I have been carrying around with me for the past two weeks. "Now, I know that we said we didn't need to get engaged just because you are pregnant but after today I really wanted to at least ask, we live together and are having a child together so if you say no that's okay because-" She doesn't let me finish because she interrupts me.

"Yes"

"Yes?" I ask her

"Yes" She answers me, she is crying again but I can tell that now it's from happy tears. I take the ring out of the box and slip it onto her ring finger. "Nick, it's beautiful"

"You like it?"

"Yeah, I do" She pulls me close and kisses me. I smile at her and look at my beautiful fiancee that is carrying our daughter.

 **Authors note- Hey guys! I really wanted to apologize for not updating sooner but I started school and have been working a lot to pay for my car and then my sister broke my finger and I couldn't type for almost two weeks so I am really sorry but I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, I will be updating very soon, I promise, I am almost done with this fanficion and am really excited for the ending, I really hope you liked this chapter and I would really appreciate reviews, I love you all and until next time-Izzy**


	12. Chapter 12

**Amanda's POV**

I feel my way around to the other side of the bed for Nick but all I feel is the pulled back sheets. I open up my eyes and look around, the bathroom door is wide open and there isn't any sign of Nick around. I sit up as best as I can at 9 months pregnant and call out for him. "Nick?" I yell out into the empty house and then turn to face the clock, it is a little after 7 in the morning and in a few days the kids will be here but until then it's just been Nick. Frannie and I. I try and sit up a little more and rest my hand over my bulging stomach and I look down at my engagement ring, it shines in the morning light as I move it around to look at it. Nick comes into the room and he is in the process of tying his tie but he stops when he sees me.

"Is everything alright?" He ask me, I can see the worry in his eyes and hear it in his voice. Every since a few weeks ago when I was sent to the hospital for the discomfort I was having he has been worried sick about me, I realize now that he is looking down at me with my hand on my stomach and he must think there is something going on. I move my hand before answering him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just woke up and you weren't here" I tell him. As soon as those words leave my mouth I can see the worry all over his face just wash away. He finishes tying his tie and then climbs into bed with me and plants a kiss on my forehead.

"I'm sorry, I was just getting ready for work. I thought you would still be asleep" Ever since I have been put on bed rest it has been this same thing every morning, I wake up to watch him go off to work while I have to stay here and find various ways to entertain myself without going totally insane.

"Working in SVU for this long has made it pretty impossible for me to sleep in" I say to him, truth be told it is probably more the fact that I am so damn uncomfortable a majority of the time and sleeping through the night can be difficult, I would never tell Nick though. I don't want to give him even more to worry about.

"Well I have already let Frannie out and I will be home for lunch so that you won't have to be alone all day, and, please just try and take it easy today" He says and then kisses me quickly on the lips and gets back out of the bed.

"I'll try" I mutter under my breath, he can't possibly understand how I am feeling about all this. I love our daughter, I really do but having been one to keep going all my life and suddenly have to slow down has not been easy. I rub small circles along my stomach as I watch him go around to the closet and pull out his suit jacket and put it on.

"I brought up the Christmas decorations, I don't want you doing too much today but if you wanted to start decorating the house a little bit for when the kids come later this week"He suggests to me, before my relationship with Nick I never spent many Christmas' with anyone and then along with Nick came Zara and Gil and somehow I was decorating houses and trees.

"Okay, that will finally give me something to do" I say and give him a weak smile, let him know that I am trying. I get up out of bed and come over to him to kiss him properly and then follow him out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. I sit down at the counter and watch as he grabs his keys and winter jacket.

"I will see you at lunchtime and please call me if you are feeling anything is wrong" He says and then gives me a kiss on the cheek. "I love you" He tells me as he is walking out the door.

"I love you too" I say and I know he hears me. Frannie runs over at the sound of the door closing and comes over to where I am sitting to lay her head on my lap. I pet her head and she looks up at me. "It's just us now Frannie" I move to get up and she scurries over to the living room and I waddle behind her. I see boxes on the floor that are filled with Christmas ornaments and I sit down on the couch and begin to go through them, at least this will give me something to occupy my time today. I pull out the contents of each box and then organize everything, I probably didn't need to organize anything but it will take up more of my empty day. Frannie lays by me and watches, every so often I feel the movements of the baby and it seems that each time it gets a little big stronger and a little more intense. After a few hours the pain starts to get worse, it isn't the same as before but they are intense enough that I think I should call Nick. I stand up and there is a wave of pain coming from all over, I reach into my pocket and pull out my cellphone and call Nick. I hear it ring and ring and I am worried he isn't going to answer, they are probably working on a case right now. Finally what feels like the last second, Nick picks up.

"Hey Amanda, everything alright?" I can hear the sound of busy New York traffic in the background, he is outside and probably at a crime scene or doing an interview.

"Actually I think I am going into labor, I've been having what I think are contractions for a couple of hours but they have gotten pretty bad" I sound calm as I say all this and it actually surprises me, I didn't think I would be this calm right now.

"Okay, I'm at a crime scene right now but I'm here with Liv and I'll let her know that I'm going to come home and take you to the hospital, I need you to get together some things for the hospital if you can and I will try and be there as soon as I can" He is trying to sound calm but I can hear that edge in his voice.

"Okay, I'll be ready when you get here" I say through the pain and then he hangs up. I go over to the bedroom and pull out one of our suitcases and I start putting some of my clothes and then Nick's into it, I leave the bedroom and slowly walk down the hall to the baby's room and I go through the dresser, I pull out a couple of outfits for her and then bring them back with me to put them in the suitcase. As soon as I am done I bring the bag with me and sit back on the couch, I look at our barley decorated tree and the plethora of decorations that sit on our living room floor and begin to laugh, there will be so much to be done for the kids to come and yet she has decided to come today. I lean back on the couch and try to close my eyes and relax a little bit while I wait for Nick to get home. I don't how much time passes but I open my eyes when I hear the front door open up, Nick comes rushing in and is by my side.

"How are you feeling?" He asks me as he helps me get up off the couch.

"Yeah, just in some pain" I say, I look at him and can tell he is worried, this hasn't exactly been the easiest pregnancy and after what happened I'm sure he is anxious that she is coming early. "But not as bad as before" I add in to try and calm some of his nerves. He keeps his arm around me and guides me outside and into the car. When I get into the passengers seat I get my seat belt on and wait when Nick goes into the house to go and get the suitcases, he comes back out with them in hand and puts them in the back of the car and gets into the car himself.

"Okay, let's do this" Nick says with a smile and then backs out of the driveway and starts driving towards the hospital, I try and keep my breathing steady as we drive. It seems as each mile goes on this baby just wants to come out more and more. I try and keep my emotions to myself but it is seeming to be harder and harder, I just don't want to scare Nick and I would rather be hooked up to a bunch of monitors so Nick can see that I am fine before I'm ready to let everyone know how much this really hurts. Nick parks the car and then comes over to open my door for me. "I'm going to go grab a wheelchair, just wait here" He tells me and then goes off to grab me one that is waiting inside the entrance of the hospital, he wheels it back and then helps me in and then we are heading inside the hospital. He wheels me over to the front desk and we get the attention of the lady sitting behind the desk.

"Hi, I'm having a baby" I say with urgency in my voice, I try and sound as polite as I can while I say that but with each contraction I can feel my composure begin to slip. I need to get to a room and fast.

"Alright, I'll need you to fill out some forms and then we will get you to a room. What is your name?" She asks me.

"I'm Amanda Rollins, this is my first baby" I say with a forced smile.

"And is this your husband?" She asks me, that same damn question each and every time. As soon as we get married then we will be able to finally have a different answer to that question. Maybe by time we have our next kid we will be married I think to myself, and as soon as I have that thought I have to remind myself that I need to have this baby first before I can even think about having any other babies.

"He is my fiancee actually" I tell her and hope this conversation can move along faster and I can get a room soon.

"I'll just need you to fill out these forms and I am going to let them know we will need a room for you guys, it shouldn't take long" She tells us and then I give her a weak smile as Nick rolls me over by the chairs so he can sit down and start to fill out the forms. I rub circles along my stomach and try and breath through the latest contraction. Nick fills out what he can and then hands it over to me to finish the rest, I try and focus on my hand on the paper as a way to distract myself from the pain. As soon as I finish the papers I hand them over to Nick so he can return them to the front desk and it will hopefully help us get a room faster. I've never had a baby before but to me it feels like she is about to arrive any second, I have to remember to ask someone if that is normal. I try and lean back in the wheelchair to get comfortable and wait anxiously for them to finally take me back to a room. A few minutes pass and a nurse comes out to let us know that we have a room, she wheels me away and Nick follows close behind. When we get to the room Nick helps me up and into the bed, as soon as I lay down I am getting all hooked up, they put an IV inn my arm and a monitor around my stomach so they can track the baby's heart rate. Just hearing the fast paced sound of her heartbeat makes me forget the pain for a few seconds, I sit up a little and take a look at the lines on the screen signifying her heart beating, her life.

"Just sit back and relax a little"Nick tells me as he eases me back down, I try and protest when another wave of contractions come.

"Is there anyway that I can get some sort of pain reliever?" I say through clenched teeth.

"I will have to check how far along you are, if you are too close there won't be anything we can give you. How long have you been having contractions?" She asks me as she gets me situated and begins to check between my legs, everyone was right when they said I wouldn't be embarrassed that a complete stranger would be looking down there, the pain is enough to distract from that.

"Since this morning, I wasn't positive it was anything to worry about because I was warned that I might get some contractions here and there closer to the end" I tell her and immediately feel stupid admitting that out loud, if my forms didn't already say that I was a first time mother then that remark definitely did. "Any hope?" I semi-joke with her hoping to lighten the mood. She stands up and doesn't look angry or disappointed to my surprise.

"I'm afraid not, the good thing is that you are going to have your baby very soon, you are already dilated to about 7 centimeters. I would say if you continue to progress like you have been then within the next few hours for sure" She tells me and I'm shocked, mostly because I should have been coming to the hospital much sooner. "I am going to get your doctor to let him know how far you are and we will be checking in on you about every 30 minutes or so to track your progress, just page us if you need anything at all or feel like the baby is coming more immediate than already" She smiles as she says that.

"Thank you" Nick tells her and then tries to help me into a hospital gown, it is an uncomfortable process but once I'm laying back in the bed it is more bearable. A few hours pass by and it's filled with desperate attempts for sleep, the first time was interrupted by my water breaking and after that it wasn't even worth it to try and kid myself that I could be comfortable. Nick is by my side through it all, having someone here who has experienced this before makes me feel better about it. I keep checking the clock on our wall to try and see how much time has passed, it is far from this morning when I was trying to organize Christmas decorations, it is now after dinner and there is still no baby. The good thing is that they doctor is in like clockwork to check me, after about four hours the nurse comes in again to check on me.

"Let's see how you are doing" She tells me and proceeds to check once again, I prepare for the worst as I look over at Nick who is on the phone with Zara, letting her know how far from here her baby sister is. The nurse stands up and looks over at another nurse, they share a look. "Go get the doctor" She says with urgency in her voice.

"What? What's wrong?" I can feel myself begin to panic a little more than I already have been today.

"Nothing is wrong Amanda, but you are dilated to 10 centimeters now and it is time to start pushing. Your baby is about to be here" She tells me and I begin to cry. I can hear Nick telling Zara over the phone that he needs to go and then he is by my side again. "Now I am going to need you to prop your legs up and begin to push for me" She says. I nod my head in response and do as she says, Nick is by my side the whole time and soon there is my doctor in the room and he takes over for the nurse.

"You ready to have a baby?" He ask me, I know that my answer would have been much different a year ago, hell about 10 months ago it would be different than what it is right now.

"Yes" I say and start pushing, it hurts more than anything I could have ever experienced, even more than the time I got shot but after a few minutes of pushing I hear the most beautiful sound I have ever heard in my life, the cries of our daughter. The doctor cleans her off a little bit and then lays her down on my chest. I look down at her head full of Nick's black hair and her tanned skin, her eyes are still closed but I would bet everything on the fact that her eyes will be his same dark brown. I turn to Nick and see that he is smiling wide with tears in his eyes, he gently strokes her back and I hold her tightly, never wanting to let her go. A nurse comes over with a blanket in hand.

"We just need to measure her real fast and get her weight and then she can be back to you" She says in a calm voice, I don't answer but just loosen my grip so the nurse can take her from my arms. I can still hear her strong cries from across the room and as long as I keep hearing her it makes it easier for her to be away from me.

"You did it Amanda" Nick keeps whispering to me in between kisses on the top of my head. Soon she is handed back to me and I take a good look at the little human that we created. After the initial shock of it all things begin to calm down and a nurse returns to our room with papers in her hand.

"If you are ready we can begin to fill out the birth certificate, what is the little cuties name?" She asks us.

"Her first name is Isabella, and her middle name is Josephine" I tell her.

"And her last?" She ask, I'm sure this is the awkward part for most unwed parents, but not for us.

"It's Amaro" Nick proudly says as he holds his baby girl in his arms, his third child.

"Alright, there are some parts that you guys will need to fill out a little later but I am going to let you rest now" She says as she is walking away. "And Congratulations" She adds and then is out of the room, leaving us, the family of three now, and I couldn't be happier.


	13. Chapter 13

**Nick's POV**

"Are you guys ready?" I ask over the phone as I drive closer to the house, I keep checking in the mirror to see Amanda in the backseat with the baby.

"Yes! Daddy when will you be home?" Zara asks through the phone.

"Almost home, just make sure you guys are ready. All three of us are very excited to see you guys" I say earning a squeal from her.

"Okay" She says.

"Just keep behaving for your grandma, I love you" I tell her.

"Love you too" She says and then hangs up.

"Was that Zara?" Amanda asks from the backseat, not once taking her eyes off Bella.

"Yeah, she didn't even let Gil talk, that's how excited she was that were coming home today" I say with a laugh.

"Yeah, I felt bad that the first few days of their break was spent with your mom instead of us" She says, finally looking at me. She fell in love with those kids the moment she fell in love with me, maybe even sooner. It was the relationship she has with them that made me so confident in her abilities to be a mother, even if she couldn't see it I always could.

"Don't feel bad, it wasn't your control about when the baby was going to be born. Besides, they came and visited us in the hospital a lot" I tell her, trying to make her feel better. She has told me countless times how she was worried about if they would feel left out now that we had a baby, I reassured her that I went through the same thing when I found out about Gil, and now him and Zara are very close and there isn't any jealousy between them. I love them both equally, no matter the fact that I have known once since birth and the other since they were 10 years old, it won't be hard to go through that same process again, this time with a third child in the mix. I turn onto our street and see my mother and the two kids standing outside in the cold and snow with a big banner they made that reads 'Welcome home baby sister!' it is painted pink and each letter is colored in a different color, they probably spent all morning working on this as they anxiously waited for us to come home. I pull into the driveway and park the car as the three of them run up to see us, I step out of the car and go over to open Amanda's door for her with a very excited audience, I see my two children peering over my arms, trying to get a glimpse of their new sibling. I laugh to myself knowing how many times they have already seen her, held her before and yet they still want more and they want it now.

"Hey guys" Amanda says as she pulls the blanket over the car seat as she gets the baby out of the car, there are already flurries of snow falling and it is already so cold out, I see the disappointment on their faces already when they aren't seeing her face, instead the blanket that my mother knitted for her newest grandchild.

"Let's get inside, it's too cold out for Bella. You can all take turns holding her once we are in the warm house" I reassure them and get them walking along. I hold onto Amanda's arm as we walk up the driveway and into the house and I scan the ground for any signs of ice. When I guide her safely up the steps the door is already opened and waiting for us to walk inside, I can see Gil holding the door opened and Zara waiting patiently for us to make it inside while she holds Frannie by the collar. I can see the dog's tail already wagging, so excited for Amanda to be home, Amanda and I share a look and she hands me the car seat as a precaution in case Frannie decides to jump. I take the car seat into the living room and set it down on the couch and pull away the blanket, staring up at me with her big deep brown eyes is my daughter, Amanda would never agree with me but I already see so much of her in that tiny little face. I look around and am surprised that my other two children aren't flocking around me but when I look up I can see them hugging Amanda, they may be excited about their sister but their love for Amanda is seeming to trump that excitement for the moment, I can see it in their eyes how happy they are that she is finally home with them. I carefully unbuckle the car seat and gently take Bella out, she is so small and it makes me realize how long it really has been since I've been with a newborn.

"There she is" Amanda says from behind me, she comes around and plants a small kiss on the top of our daughters head and I watch the amazement in the eyes of Zara and Gil.

"Can I hold her daddy?" Zara asks me and I nod my head in response, Amanda takes the blanket off the couch and drapes it over Zara's lap as she sits down in the spot the blanket once was, I hand her over and watch as Zara gets the baby in a comfortable position and then stares down at her intently. I look to Amanda and can see that her eyes are not filled with worry but instead a complete trust and ease that I know comes from her trust in Zara. I can also notice that look of happiness, that smile that hasn't seemed to go away even with the long nights that come with a newborn, Amanda may have never panned or wanted to be a mother but that look of love she has for not only our baby but our family of five makes me know that she wouldn't trade any of it for the world. Amanda sits down next to Zara and Gil who has now sat on the other side and my mother rushes in from the kitchen with her phone in hand.

"Nick, sit down, this would make the cutest family photo" She says as she raises the phone to capture the family moment I've been dreaming of for so long. I sit down and we all turn to face the camera with the biggest smiles on our face, the five of us are surrounded by the unconditional love. I look down at my baby girl who is now in the middle of her older brother and sister, having my three kids all together is the best thing I could have ever asked for and with Amanda by my side I know that we have so many more moments like this to enjoy for many years to come.

 **Authors note-Hey guys! First I want to apologize for the lack of posting, it is for a very good and exciting reason though. So all my life I have always wanted to be an author and I actually came to this website as a way to publish my work and a few months ago I got in contact with a publisher about potentially having one of my books published. It was such an amazing moment and I have been working very hard to write my book, I really hope you guys can understand. Fanficion is very much a priority but this is such an amazing opportunity that I have been working so hard to prefect it, and along with that my uncle who has basically been a father to me was in the hospital for a little while, it was very scary and obviously I dropped everything to be with him, but everything is thankfully good now. I also have been working a lot and recently realized that I really needed to take a step back after pulling a muscle in my chest that caused me severe pain for days, I actually could not move much for a whole day because the pain was so intense, but now that I am healing I have gone back to writing my fanfiction and I want to thank you for being so understanding, because I am essentially on rest and unable to go to work for a couple of days I will be back to posting fanfiction as much as I can and while this story is over I really hope you guys will check out some of my other ones and if you are already following some of my other ones then I am pleased to inform you that I will be updating within the next day or two. I want to again thank you all for sticking with this and me and my unpredictable life because I had so much fun writing this and hope that the ending was satisfying for you guys because I am proud of what this became and loved writing it, SVU has always been one of my favorite shows and the couple that Nick and Amanda were was always one of my favorites on the show, while this fanfiction is over I do not have any future plans to write anything else from SVU but like I mentioned I am writing currently Criminal Minds, Vampire Diaries, Supernatural, Hunger Games, and Glee fanfictions so if you are a fan of any of those shows/books please check them out, I love you all so much and I hope you enjoyed this fanfic, it was so fun to write and until next time-Izzy**


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